#okay these designs are bound to change a lot
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Concept sketches for Cyrmic’s parents???
Bonus: little guy alert.
#okay these designs are bound to change a lot#especially his mom. I don’t think I made her weird enough#she’s super cute but she’s… too cute?? idk.#I don’t have names for them yet but I’ve been thinking of his mom being named Petunia????#which is. admittedly even cuter. agh#little Cyrmic is so ugly <3#look at him he looks so stupid /pos#don’t have much for his dad rn#just that concept sketch. his dad is all goofy and shit#Cyrmic is way more pristine than his dad who’s just. kinda a goofball#despite the complications Cyrmic faced being half human and cryptid?? they genuinely loved him a lot#they were actually really good parents. they loved their weird little son#fun fact Cyrmic has little sheep ears but they’re uh. kinda hidden behind the horns#yeah they don’t know how that happened either#that’s what happens when you fuck around. you find out.#Cyrmic Danderdilly#Bliss#ocs#original characters#original stories#WIP#work in progress#character wip#The Kiwi Draws
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Hellooooo
Mae, could you maybe (absolutely no pressure or anything!!!) write something with Vampire!james x reader when he once again feeds from her and actually takes too much or so? Not like so much that it’s really bad or so but like too much, you know?
I haven’t thought about it a lot so I’m sorry that it’s so incomplete. The rest is yours to decide (as always)
(Sorry that my request is so messy, it’s the middle of the night for me)
Wasn't messy at all gorgeous! Thanks for requesting <3
cw: blood, lightheadedness/near fainting
vampire!James x fem!reader ♡ 682 words
You don’t notice it happening. You suppose that’s probably by design—vampires are supposed to drain their victims, after all, and that biology doesn’t account for your gentle boyfriend and his willing bloodbag. You’re not cognizant of any change between when your mind feels pleasantly fuzzy and when it starts to slip away from you altogether, dark spots blotting your vision and your bones losing their solidity. James notices, though, when you turn to mush in his hands.
“Shit.” His voice is garbled by fang and slurred by gluttony, his arms encircling you to better prop you up. You feel a warm droplet of blood trudge down your front as he takes his mouth from you in a hurry. James swears again, wetting the wound to close it. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Can you hear me?”
You make some somnolent sound of reassurance, but it doesn’t seem to do its job well. James is panicky and upset, trying to calm himself enough to figure out what to do with you.
“Okay.” He kisses your face, eyes watery. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. Let’s lay down, yeah? Come here.”
You’re not really up for following instructions, but James does the work himself, laying you sideways on the couch and propping your head on a pillow.
“Stay awake, angel.” He lifts your legs some, holding your ankles in one hand while the other strokes up and down your leg soothingly. “Can you do that for me?”
You hum. You’re feeling better already. It’s not like usual, where the fuzzy feeling starts to fade as soon as James takes his lips from you, but you’re beginning to feel more solid. “James, m’okay.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says, voice hoarse with emotion. “How do you feel? Do you want some water?”
“I feel better.” You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Just a little…a little weird. Hey. Jamie.” You cover his hand on your leg with yours. Your boyfriend’s expression looks tormented, his eyes glassy with self-loathing. “It’s okay, lovely. I’m fine, I just need a minute.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t stop,” he admits in a near whisper.
“I should have let you know.”
“How were you supposed to? I was drinking you dry.” His voice thins. James closes his eyes, agonized. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. That was dangerous. I could’ve killed you.”
“You wouldn’t have,” you tell him gently.
“I could have, I—”
“James.” You sit up on your elbows. Your boyfriend’s brows bunch concernedly, but your head feels fine. Maybe your protectiveness of James is just more substantial than anything else in you. “You wouldn’t have, baby. Really. I know you’re worried you’re going to lose control or something, but that’s not what happened. We just both let it go a little too far. And when you realized what was happening, you stopped without even thinking about it.” You make your voice firm. “This was just a fluke. It was bound to happen at some point, but you’d never really hurt me. And everything turned out fine, right? Didn’t it?”
James breathes out. “I don’t know,” he says uncertainly. “Are you fine?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” You give him a smile, reaching out your arms.
James hugs you but doesn’t meet you halfway. He presses you back into the couch instead, his arms wound tight around your middle and stubble scritching against your cheek.
“You promise you’re okay?” He turns his head to kiss your ear. “Be honest.”
You rub his back. “I promise. I just needed a minute. It’s normal, you know?”
James sighs, his body sinking into yours. “Nothing about this is normal.”
“I guess. But I was talking about, like, blood donation. This happens all the time in those cases.” You lie there for a minute, you soothing your palms over his back and him with his arms wrapped around you. “I feel fine to sit up now, by the way.”
“No way.” James kisses the shell of your ear again. “You scared the shit out of me, baby. I’m never letting you up off this couch again.”
#vampire!james potter#james potter au#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter oneshot#james potter one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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What No One Tells you about Writing #3
Opening this up to writing as a whole, because it turns out I have a lot more to say!
Part 1
Part 2
1. You don’t fall in love with your characters immediately
But when you do, it’s a hit of serotonin like no other. I’d been writing a tight cast of characters for my sci-fi series since 2016 and switched over in a bout of writer’s block this year to my new fantasy book. I made it about ⅓ through writing the book going through the motions, unable to visualize what these new characters look like, sound like, or would behave like without a ‘camera’ on them.
Then, all of a sudden, I opened my document to keep on chugging with the first draft, and it clicked. They were no longer faceless elements of my plot, they were my characters and I was excited to see what they could accomplish, rooting for them to succeed. Sometimes, it takes a while, but it does come.
2. Sometimes a smaller edit is better than a massive rewrite
Unless you’re changing the trajectory of your entire plot, or a character’s arc really is unrecoverable, sometimes even a single line of dialogue, a single paragraph of introspection, or a quick exchange between two characters can change everything. If something isn’t working, or your beta readers consistently aren’t jiving with a character you yourself love, try taking a step back, looking at who they are as a person, and boil down what your feedback is telling you and it might demand a simpler fix than you expect.
Tiny details inserted at the right moment can move mountains. Fan theories stand on the backs of these minutiae. One sentence can turn a platonic relationship romantic. One sentence can unravel a fair and just argument. One sentence can fill or open a massive plot hole.
3. Outline? What outline?
Not every book demands weeks upon weeks of prep and worldbuilding. I would argue that jumping right in with only a vague direction in mind gives you a massive advantage: You can’t infodump research you haven’t done. Exposition is forced to come as the plot demands it, because you haven’t designed it yet.
Not every story is simple and straightforward, but even penning the first draft with your vague plan, *then* going back and adding in deeper worldbuilding elements, more thematic details, richer character development, can get you over the writer’s block hurdle and make it far less intimidating to just shut up and write the book.
4. It’s okay to let your characters take the wheel
I’ve seen writing advice that chastises authors who let their characters run wild, off the plan the story has for them. Yeah, doing this can harm your pacing and muddy a strong and consistent arc, but refusing to leave the box of your outline greatly limits your creativity. I do this particularly when writing romantic relationships (and end up like Captain Crunch going Oops! All Gays!).
Did I plan for these two to get together? No, it just happened organically as I wrote them talking, getting closer, getting to know each other better in the circumstances they find themselves in. Was this character meant to be gay? Well, he wasn’t meant to be straight, but you know what, he’d work really well with this other boy over here. None of that would have happened if I was bound and determined to follow my original plan, because my original plan didn’t account for how the story that I want to tell evolves. You aren’t clairvoyant—it’s okay if it didn’t end up where you thought it would.
5. Fight. Scenes. Suck.
Which is crazy because I love fantasy and sci-fi, the actiony-est genres. Some authors love battle scenes and fistfights. It comes naturally to them and I will forever be jealous. I hate fight scenes. I hate blocking and choreographing them. I hate how it doesn’t read like I’m watching a movie. I hate how it could take me hours to write a scene I can read in 5 minutes. I hate that there’s no way around it except to just not write them, or put in the elbow grease and practice.
Whatever your writing kryptonite is, don’t be too hard on yourself. It won’t ever replicate the movie in your head, but our audience isn’t privy to that movie and will be none the wiser of how this didn’t fit your expectations, because it’s probably awesome on its own. It could be a fight scene, sex scene, epic battle, cavalry charge, courtroom argument, car chase—whatever. Be patient, and kind to yourself and it will all come together.
6. Write the scenes you want to write first
And then be prepared to never use them. It can be mighty difficult working backwards from a climax and figuring out how to write the story around it, but if you’re sitting at your laptop staring at your cursor and watching it blink, stuck on a tedious moment that’s necessary but frustrating, go write something exciting. Even if that amazing scene ends up no longer working in the book your story becomes, you still get practice by writing it. Particularly if you hate beginnings or the pressure of a perfect first page is too high, you’re allowed to write any other moment in the book first.
And with that, be prepared to kill your darlings. Not your characters, I mean that one badass line of dialogue living rent free in your head. That epic monologue. That whump scenario for your favorite character. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out anymore, but even if it ends up in the trash, you can always salvage something from it, even if that’s only the knowledge of what not to do in the future.
7. “This is clearly an author insert.” … Yes. It is. Point?
No one likes Mary Sues, because a character who doesn’t struggle or learn to get everything they want in life is uncompelling. The most flagrant author inserts I see aren’t Mary Sues, they’re nerdy, awkward, boring white guys whose world changes to fit their perspective, instead of the other way around—they don’t have anything to say. I’m not the intended audience to relate to these characters and I accept that, but I don’t empathize with the so-called “strong female character” who also doesn’t have flaws or an arc either.
A good author insert? When the author gives their characters pieces of themselves. When the “author insert” struggles and learns and grows and it’s a therapeutic experience just writing these characters thrown into such horrible situations. They feel human when they’re given pieces of a human’s soul. They have real human flaws and idiosyncrasies. I don’t care if the author wrote themselves as the protagonist. I care that this protagonist is entertaining. So if you want to make yourself the hero of your book, go for it! But make sure you look in the mirror and write in your flaws, as much as your strengths.
#writing advice#writing resources#writing tips#writing tools#writing a book#writing#writeblr#fantasy#scifi#what no one tells you about writing
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I Failed
This is my new Eddie Diaz imagine, as request, and filled with quite a lot of angst. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17
@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Part 2
Summary: After a bad relationship, (Y/n)'s luck finally changed when she married Eddie. But she doesn't know what to do when she ends up miscarrying while she's home alone, and she doesn't want anyone to help her.
Enjoy.
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When a pair of hands found her hips, (Y/n)'s lips curved into a sly grin and she twisted her head to catch a glance over her shoulder. She locked eyes with Eddie for a few moments before his face tucked into the crook of her neck and she felt his lips attaching to her skin.
As his chest moulded up against her back, she went back to scouting through the cupboard above the kitchen counter until she found the painkillers. She popped two out and looked around for her glass while she felt Eddie's hands squeezing her hips tighter.
"Still got a headache?" He murmured softly into her neck while his thumbs traced up and down her hips.
He finally detached his lips from her neck so he could perch his chin on her shoulder. And his eyes watched intently as (Y/n) chugged back the two tablets with a grimace that caused her body to shudder in his arms.
(Y/n) hummed and took a few sips of juice until the tablets finally seemed to go down and settle properly.
The grimace on her face slowly began to fade when Eddie's hands slithered around her waist and his arms bound into her sides so his hands could slip beneath her pyjama top. Her body shuddered against his cold hands that made a point to trace along her abdomen and settle on either side of her bump like he was protecting the baby.
"Not feeling any better then?" He asked softly while his fingers continued to trace designs into her skin.
Now that (Y/n) was starting to show, Eddie seemed to wrap himself around her like a vine whenever he could, and (Y/n) loved it. She loved the feeling of his arms cocooning around her like this, like a protective blanket. And (Y/n) loved the fact that Eddie's eyes could never stop from straying down to her stomach every now and then.
She was nineteen weeks along now and finally had a round bump beginning to take prominence.
"Just a bit sick, I'm okay." (Y/n) tipped her head back into Eddie's shoulder and leaned into him while her hands moved down to hold his wrists. The headache she'd had all day was still present, and she was feeling a bit run down now, but she was relatively fine and she didn't want to make a fuss.
She felt Eddie whisper "Promise?" before he pecked her shoulder and she shivered in his arms. They both knew what that meant.
Before she met Eddie, (Y/n) had been in a bad relationship. It had been bad enough that when she started to date Eddie, any time he gave her a compliment, (Y/n) felt like she was waiting for a snide remark to follow. She was so used to keeping her feelings to herself and pushing through any illness she had so she wasn't 'causing problems' or making 'too much of a fuss about nothing.'
Eddie had been shocked to see how much confidence (Y/n) now seemed to have now she was with him. He hated to think of the difference in her, how uncertain and nervous she had been at the start of their relationship compared to now.
Now, she wasn't afraid to say if she felt ill or say if something was wrong, because she knew Eddie wasn't going to shout or start a fight or reach the point of throwing things. She knew they could talk things out and she could go where she wanted without having to tell Eddie or ask his permission for things.
But it was still hard, sometimes.
"I promise." (Y/n) turned to press a sweet kiss to Eddie's forehead which caused him to grin into her shoulder.
He knew that even though (Y/n) had told him this morning that she didn't feel great, she wouldn't necessarily tell him if she felt worse. She would try and push through it and carry on as normal and she wouldn't always tell him if she felt sick or even if she had been sick. Eddie knew (Y/n) was so used to keeping these things to herself.
He liked (Y/n) to promise him that she was okay and that she would actually tell him if she felt worse or if she needed anything.
They were married now, Eddie wanted (Y/n) to know he would always look after her and if she wasn't well then Eddie wanted to know.
"Good." Tilting his head up, Eddie caught her lips in a kiss and ran his thumbs up and down her waist. Before he slid his hands back round to her hips and carefully turned (Y/n) around in his arms. He felt her hands grip his shoulders to steady herself and her lips curved into a smile against his mouth.
His hands skimmed up and down her waist, ruffling the hem of her shirt around her hips. And when their lips parted, he nudged his nose against hers and pecked her cheek.
"You gonna be okay if I head to work? I'm on a double, won't be back until tomorrow night."
Eddie didn't like doing double shifts, but they were short staffed and he couldn't be the only one not doing extra shifts. It meant he would be working for twenty four hours and if it was a rushed shift, he probably wouldn't get any sleep in the bunkers either.
But he was sure the team would understand if he had to switch a shift around so he wasn't doing a double, he could pick up extra during the rest of the week if need be.
"We'll be fine." Pushing forward away from the counter, (Y/n) laid her head on Eddie's shoulder and looped her arms around his neck.
She was sure the time would fly by. She would take Chris to school in the morning, pick him up later on in the afternoon and they would cook tea together and dish some up for Eddie for when he came home later on.
It wasn't often that Eddie did double or a stretch of long shifts in a row, but when he did, (Y/n) and Chris tried to keep themselves busy.
"I'm not at work tomorrow anyway." It wasn't as if (Y/n) was going to have to head to work feeling a bit under the weather like this. She would most probably have a rest day tomorrow while Chris was at school if she still felt the same as she did now.
"Okay."
"I'll still miss you though." She murmured softly into his neck as her eyes fell closed and she cosied up to him a little more.
She could feel Eddie laughing into her hair where he pecked her temple and his hands began to run up and down her back beneath her shirt. He knew she would. He was going to feel exactly the same.
(Y/n) was starting to wish Eddie wasn't on a double shift anymore. She never knew what to do with herself when she didn't feel well and right now, she felt horrid.
Her head was pounding like someone was hitting it and using it as a drum and her stomach was spinning almost as much as the washing machine. She had been dithering for the last two hours, unsure whether she was going to be sick or if the toast she tried to eat for breakfast was just taking a long time to settle.
Her head flopped back on the cushion and she let a groan slip past her lips as she closed her eyes and wrapped both arms around her waist. Her knees coiled up and she shimmied to lay on her right side on the sofa. She couldn't keep her eyes open, she wanted to curl up and go to sleep. (Y/n) felt like sleep had been avoiding her all last night and it was still hiding just out of her reach now. And she didn't have the attention span to watch the movie playing in the background.
Her lips morphed into a grimace and her arms tightened into her lower chest when her stomach churned.
Maybe it would prove useful to go and get a hot bath or maybe even try to lie down in bed and see if she could sleep for a little while. She had time before she needed to get ready and collect Chris from school.
It had been a triumph this morning that (Y/n) managed to get herself and Chris up, ready and got him to school with the way she was feeling. She felt tired and lathargic but now she just felt sick and uneasy.
One hand moved to cradle her throbbing temple and she stiffled a groan as she slowly pushed up into a sitting position. It didn't do her head any favours; the room spun in circles and took a while to get back into focus.
Both hands moved to her thighs when she swung her legs over the sofa and wearily got to her feet. She managed a few steps away from the sofa before her body curled over and her hands moved to cup her stomach. Her stomach was cramping, and it didn't feel like a stomach bug or a sickness kind of cramp.
Her eyes slowly cast down as her hands stayed cradling her bump and she waited for a few seconds, maybe even a minute, to see if the feeling disappeared. She barely managed proper breaths as she stared at her stomach, suddenly wishing she could see through her skin to check on the baby.
It felt like her system was slowly equalising itself out so (Y/n) tried to take a few more steps.
Her legs quivered and pressed together when another, sharp pain tore through her abdomen that was starting to ache more prominently than before. She couldn't help but double over and lean forward as a gasp tumbled past her lips.
This wasn't good. Something didn't feel right.
A cry tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips when she slowly trailed her hand down towards her thighs and brought her trembling hand up to inspect.
Blood. Blood was just beginning to soak into her leggings and stick to her inner thighs. Oh, this didn't look good. Why was she bleeding? Why was she suddenly having cramps and pains? What was she supposed to do?
She wanted Eddie to come home.
Her lips quivered and she pushed her chin down into her chest and pressed both her hands tightly into her stomach again. A broken cry burst past her lips when another pain coursed through her stomach and she hurriedly grabbed her phone from the arm rest before she tried to stumble down the hall.
She was losing the baby.
(Y/n) coiled over until her bump was pressing into her thighs when the pain got worse. She felt like a duke box vibrating and pulsing with how hard and loud her pulse was throbbing in her veins.
What had she done? Why did she deserve this?
They wanted this baby. When they got married the first thing they talked about was having kids, and (Y/n) had been so happy when she showed Eddie the positive pregnancy test. She had seen the excitement in his eyes when he started to tell people they were going to have a baby. This is what they had been hoping for.
Eddie meant everything to (Y/n). After the trouble and the trauma she had been through with her ex, meeting Eddie and getting into a relationship with him was like finding a piece of Heaven on Earth. Having a baby would complete their family, and (Y/n) knew how badly Eddie wanted this and how thrilled he had been when he found out. He was always reaching for her bump and trying to hide his excitement about wanting to do the nursery soon.
What kind of wife was (Y/n) turning out to be if she lost their first baby together? She couldn't really call herself Eddie's wife if she couldn't do something so simple, something millions of other women had no trouble doing.
She wasn't supposed to lose the baby. She was supposed to give Eddie children, have many babies with him, not ruin things like this. The thought of Eddie's reaction made a cry scrape against her throat and she snapped her eyes closed as she stumbled into the bathroom.
She could feel the blood sticking between her thighs and making her legs itch with each cramp that burned through her abdomen and caused her body to start shaking. She felt like she was beginning to overheat, despite the cool air drifting through the house that only seemed to soak in the sun in the dining room.
Her legs felt like they were going to turn to jelly by the time she reached the bathroom and roughly slammed the door shut behind her.
She wasn't quite sure what to do or what she thought she might do but when her legs trembled, (Y/n) let herself flop down to her knees. Her right side slumped against the side of the bath and she fumbled with her phone.
The screen blurred in front of her eyes that were overflowing with tears that began to stream down her face like a waterfall. (Y/n) could barely manage to scroll through her messages and find Buck's number. She wasn't going to call him. She didn't want to risk him finding out something bad was happening, something horrid like this.
*Can you get Chris from school for me? Emergency.
There was no way (Y/n) was going to be able to go to school and pick Chris up in this state. And it wasn't as if she could gather her senses in a few hours and try to go get him after this episode was over. She needed someone to be able to look after Chris for her so she could stay home. So she could wallow and cry and try to think what to do next.
It was a relief that (Y/n) remembered Buck wasn't at work today, he had been on a double shift and should have finished this morning. She remembered Eddie saying he would only see Buck for half a shift as everyone was pulling stunted shifts while they were struggling for cover.
She barely managed to read Buck's reply, but when she registered that he had agreed, her trembling hands turned her phone off and tossed it away from her. She didn't want to have to explain what was happening. She didn't want to call Eddie or speak to anyone and she didn't want help. She wanted to be alone.
When she struggled out of her leggings, (Y/n) tried not to gag at the blood caking her inner thighs. This was actually happening. One of (Y/n)'s worst nightmares was coming true, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do now.
A broken sob bubbled past her lips as she bound her arms around her waist and doubled forward.
She wanted this baby. Seeing Eddie's face when she took the test had been one of the best moments of her life. She was finally allowed to have her own life, have the family she always wanted, and with someone who truly loved her. Eddie had been so patient in their relationship after what (Y/n) had been through in the past. He took things at her pace, he was always loving and understanding and never put any blame on her for anything.
And now, (Y/n) couldn't do something so simple and sweet for Eddie like giving him a baby. She'd messed it all up.
What had she done? Why did she deserve this?
(Y/n) felt like she had gone deaf when she screamed but no sound broke through the barrier building up in her ears. Every part of her body began to shake back and forth when she looked down at the life she had just lost. The life she was supposed to nurture and protect. Gone. Destroyed. Evicted.
With trembling hands, she reached out for the towels hanging on the rack beside the door. She laid one over the baby and shuffled back towards the sink. She wanted as much space between her and the sight of what she'd done.
She slumped onto her bum and tried to swab the other towel over her thighs, trying in vain to clean up the blood beginning to smear onto the tiles.
Ragged breaths ran away from her and her chest burned as she began to hyperventilate.
(Y/n) began to rub her palms furiously up and down her exposed thighs, creating burnt red streaks up and down her flesh. She could feel the blood sticking between her thighs and making her legs itch with each cramp that burned through her abdomen and her body was still shaking back and forth like she was sat in the Arctic.
She pushed back a little more until she was wedged into the small space between the bath and the sink. Cramped into the corner like some strange ornament trying to blend in and become invisible. Her arms cocooned around her legs, pinning her knees into her aching, cramping stomach that was throbbing like she was being stabbed.
What was she going to do? What kind of conversation was she going to have with Eddie when he eventually came home? How was she going to explain to him that she had lost their baby while he'd been out at work?
She couldn't tell him. She didn't want Eddie to come home. She couldn't face him.
How angry was he going to be with her when he found out what she'd done? He was going to be so upset. She had lost their baby. His baby. She wasn't the perfect wife or mother she wanted to be after doing this. What kind of wife lost her first baby like this? She had let Eddie down, and she didn't want to be the one to tell him what she'd done and face his reaction.
How long before he would come home? How long could she stay cooped up in here and wallow without anyone finding her? Maybe she would pass out soon and then she wouldn't have to panic about telling Eddie if she passed out and didn't wake up again.
She didn't deserve Eddie after doing this to him.
***
Eddie shrugged his shirt over his head, trying to ignore the ache in his back that no doubt was going to be bruised by this evening. He had taken a fall when a gas leak caused a minor explosion in a bakery. It felt like the whole of his spine from his neck to his coccyx was bruised and beginning to swell, but he was sure it felt worse than it was.
He tucked the hem of his shirt into his trousers, glad to be in clothing that didn't smell of smoke and didn't have droplets of oil and dirt and odours of smoke woven into the fabric.
He rolled his shoulders and clicked his neck into place, but just as he went to shut his locker door, his phone started to vibrate. He reached up onto the top shelf and grabbed his phone.
"Hey Buck." Eddie tried not to sound bewildered or confused and kept his tone light. He had seen Buck last night when he came on shift, and he waved him goodbye when he left shift at ten this morning. Did he miss Eddie that much that he thought he had to call and check in on him at work? They would be seeing each other tomorrow when Buck came round for tea anyway.
"Hey, is everything okay?"
"Yeah… why?"
A small laugh tumbled past Eddie's lips as his free hand moved to his hip. Why wouldn't he be okay? Why would something be wrong? Nothing had gone wrong this shift and no one on the team were injured or had made a call or texted Buck to give him the impression something was amiss.
"(Y/n) asked me to get Chris from school, she said something about an emergency. But she's not answering, I just wanted to check everything's alright and if he's staying for tea."
Buck had been a bit worried when (Y/n) didn't reply to him. He sent her a round of texts to ask what the emergency was, if she needed any help and if he could do anything. When she didn't reply, he sent her a few more asking her to tell him if she was okay so he didn't have to worry, but her lack of response was making him panic.
She wasn't one to ask for favours and she had never had an emergency before or reached out for Buck during an emergency. He couldn't stop worrying and he just wanted to check everything was okay, and see if Chris was staying to have tea with him or not. He was more than happy to have Chris for as long as needed, but he had to be reassured (Y/n) and Eddie were okay.
"Oh, shit I- I haven't heard anything from her. Let me see what's going on and I'll call you back."
"Okay, no worries."
Anxiety started to pool in Eddie's stomach once he hung up. What kind of emergency would (Y/n) be having? What would be wrong? He couldn't think what kind of emergency she would be having and she wasn't one to leave Buck worrying. They were both worriers at heart and (Y/n) wasn't one for being cryptic.
Eddie clicked on her contact but his heart hammered against his ribs when the phone didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail. Pulling back, he switched to text message and sent a short text.
*Sweetheart, everything okay? Buck said you had some emergency, are you alright? x
When a minute ticked by and he didn't get a reply, Eddie's foot began to tap against the floor and he tried to ring her again. It didn't work; straight to voicemail again. Once the third ring didn't work either, Eddie could feel worry sparking in his stomach like the first flickers of a fire that was going to spread and consume his body in no time.
He shoved his phone into his pocket, grabbed his keys from his locker and hurried out the locker room to find Bobby.
"Bobby, I- I've got an emergency at home, I really need to go and make sure everything's okay. I'll pick up a shift tomorrow to make up the hours, I swear." He didn't want to leave them short-handed when he was supposed to be here for another four hours and they were already down on staff.
But what other choice did he have? (Y/n) could be unconscious. She could have had a fall. She could have been caught up in a situation somewhere in town or she could be ill at home. Something was definitely wrong and she wasn't answering the phone, Eddie couldn't stay here and panic, he had to make sure she was okay.
"Of course, head home. You're over your hours anyway Eddie, it's fine." The nod of Bobby's head was all Eddie needed to smile gratefully in his direction and bolt towards the car park.
He could feel his anxiety dwelling with each passing second on the ride home. He had never wanted to get home so fast and the journey seemed to triple as the seconds dragged into minutes which felt like hours.
Every possibility flashed before Eddie's eyes until he was choking on air, gasping at all the horrible thoughts that might be happening. (Y/n) might not even be at home. An emergency could happen anywhere and for all Eddie knew, his wife could be out at the shops or with a friend or somewhere on her own. She could of had an accident in the car or on the street or witnessed some horrid situation. Anything was possible and Eddie didn't like all the things his worried mind was coming up with.
He wasn't sure whether he was relieved or not to find (Y/n)'s car in the drive when he finally pulled up.
That meant she probably was home, but she could still be out. But if she was home, then some kind of emergency had happened at home, and that limited Eddie's thoughts on what might be going on.
He could barely get his key in the door with how his hands were beginning to shake.
"Amor? Are you here… everything okay, what's the emergency?" His eyes were rabid as they scanned around the house, trying to figure out where his wife was.
Eddie had seen her shoes and bag beside the door the moment he walked in, so she had to be here. The living room was empty, the tv was paused on the movie channel, waiting for the pin code to play the next movie lined up on the channel. He peered into the dining room and then the kitchen, but both were void and empty.
His heart began to hammer away at his chest when he headed down the hall. It felt like he was walking into the unknown.
He would of aimed straight for the bedroom, if he hadn't looked to the left and noticed the bathroom door was closed. It was only closed if someone was in there, otherwise they left it open as a general yet unspoken rule.
She was in there. Eddie knew it. If the horrible, twisting feeling in his gut wasn't enough to tell him that his wife was in there, it was the quiet yet unmistakeable whimper he heard which told him she was in there.
When he reached down, Eddie could feel his heart pulsing in dismay at the fact that the door was locked. No one else was home. Why had she locked the door? Had she done that before or after he walked in the front door? Did she know he was here? Did she not want him to see her? He lightly rapped his knuckles on the door and slumped his forehead against the wood.
"Baby? Baby it's me, open the door for me please."
"No," The meek response showed how croaky her voice was from crying and something about her voice sounded weak or maybe even broken. It shattered Eddie's heart into a million pieces.
"Why not? (Y/n) you're frightening me, what's the matter?" What was Eddie supposed to do if she didn't open the door and let him help?
How was he supposed to know what was going on or how to help her if she didn't talk to him or let him in? She could be hurt and Eddie standing out here wasn't going to make it any better. He needed to be in there with her, looking after her and sorting out whatever emergency she was going through. Not stood out here, shut out like he was a nosy neighbour who shouldn't be involved.
"You can't… I've- Eddie, go."
Another feeble cry left (Y/n)'s lips as she tried to drag the towel off her lap and slide it along the floor in a vain attempt to clean the blood. But all she managed was to create streak marks into the tiles along with the crumbling skids of blood that were already beginning to dry. Even the towel was starting to dry out and become crimped and hard from the cracked blood drying like paint.
She let go of the towel and resided to curl her arms around her knees and bring them back to her stomach that was pulsing in waves. Her head was splitting like a coconut. Her body was trembling and vibrating with pain. She felt sick. She wanted to pass out, but she hadn't managed it so far.
Why did Eddie have to come home early? Why couldn't he stay at work or go and be with Buck and Chris? He shouldn't have to witness the trouble she'd caused or see what she had done.
(Y/n) didn't want him to know how badly she had failed.
"No, no I can't do that mi amor. I need you to open the door because I know something's wrong. I'll break it if I have to." Sorrow flooded Eddie's voice and he snapped his eyes closed and meshed his face against the door when he heard (Y/n)'s sob.
He didn't want to. Eddie didn't want to break the door to get inside, he wanted (Y/n) to unlock it and let him help. But if she wasn't going to let him in and she was injured or wasn't well or somehow hurt, then Eddie didn't have a choice. She didn't sound like she was looking after herself in there, she sounded panicked and frightened and that was frightening Eddie.
He had to get in there to help her and see what was going on, and he didn't care what he had to do in order to help his wife.
He waited. Eddie counted for just over a minute, but the only reply he got was (Y/n)'s frightened sobs and the sound of her either kicking or slumping into the side of the bath which created a plastic echo in the bathroom. Her cries made dread amplify and vibrate through his stomach.
"Oh fuck." He dragged his hand across his face before he stepped back. "Amor get away from the door."
With his hands braced on either side of the door frame, Eddie leaned his upper body back and lifted his right leg. He slammed his foot just beneath the door handle, glad he was still wearing his work boots which added an extra bang and some extra weight to his kick. The lock was only a simple sliding bolt and the feeble metal broke instantly with the right amount of force from Eddie's swift kick.
Eddie whacked his hand against the door when it swung back towards him, barging it open as he bolted inside.
"Amor, what… Dios, what happened?"
He couldn't breathe.
What the Hell happened while he had been at work?
Every part of his body broke out in trembles when he knelt down on the floor, unsure which direction to move in first. There was blood soaked into the tiles. Towels lathered in blood scrunched up to his left, another discarded near the sink on his right.
Tears welled up in his eyes when he set his sights on (Y/n). She was sat between the bath and the sink, her legs curled beneath her with her back slumped against the side of the bath and both arms tightly secured around her waist. He could see all the tears she had shed, drenched into her face and around her puffy eyes that wouldn't stop watering. Her teeth had bitten into her lower lip enough to make it bleed. She was trembling back and forth, causing the plastic edge of the bath to jutter and bang every now and then.
When he looked to the left again, Eddie tried to reach out for the two towels piled in the corner. The more he looked over the scene, the more he began to realise what had happened and it made his heart drop to his gut like a ten tone weight.
But before he could even touch the towels, he felt (Y/n)'s hands latching around his arm and she yanked him towards her with some force.
"Don't! L- leave them…" The terror woven into her voice made Eddie's breath catch in his throat, but he hated how she let go of him and retreated from him.
He was right. She'd miscarried. She'd had the baby and he hadn't even been here to support her and help her through this. (Y/n) had gone through this on her own, and Eddie had been completely oblivious. He hadn't gotten home in time. He hadn't been here when she needed him. He was supposed to look after her and protect her, and he'd done neither of those things when (Y/n) needed him the most.
"Baby-" He shuffled closer but his lips pursed when (Y/n) shook her head and bound her arms around her waist. She pressed her face into her knees that she brought up so that her legs were imbedded in her stomach which clearly made her whimper in agony.
He shuffled closer and carefully slid his hands around the back of her calves to pull her legs down so she couldn't hide behind them. Pressing into her stomach wasn't going to dull down the cramps or make her feel any better.
"Amor, amor hey it's alright, come here… come here." When she tried to fight his arms off, Eddie persevered until he had her face cupped in his hands.
His thumbs smoothed over her cheekbones, wiping away the tremendous amounts of tears distorting her vision and soaking into her skin. His knees touched her thigh and he rested his temple against hers as he felt (Y/n)'s hands grip his wrists so tightly she started to cut off the circulation to his fingertips. But it was better than her trying to push him away.
"I- I'm sorry," The way her lower lip wobbled made Eddie choke on a cry he desperately tried to keep at bay.
"Oh baby, don't say that." Eddie smoothed his thumbs beneath her eyes and tilted her head down so he could press a slow, wet kiss to her temple. "Let me look at you."
He gently let go of her face and tried to run his hands down her waist to her thighs, but (Y/n) shook her head. She grabbed his hands and pulled them back up towards her chest as she began to cry.
"No."
"Baby I need to check you over-"
"I've failed. I couldn't… I couldn't-" Words tumbled past her lips in a flurry that Eddie couldn't make head nor tail of. But he hated the path her mind was trying to take her down.
How could she even think that? How could she convey this situation into her doing something wrong? She hadn't decided for this to happen or done this on purpose. This wasn't a bad choice (Y/n) had made in a moment of weakness. This was something totally out of anyone's control and Eddie needed to look after her and seemingly take her to the hospital with the state she was in.
"I lost them." (Y/n) kept tight hold of Eddie's wrists, but she couldn't stop her trembling hands from jostling in the direction of the towel on the other side of the room. The towel she didn't want Eddie to touch or go near.
The towel she had been staring at for the last two hours, unable to look away from the life she had lost. The baby she had evicted. Eddie's baby. The one thing (Y/n) had been dreaming about since they decided to start a family together. They wanted a baby, and they had been close; so close, and (Y/n) had gone and ruined everything. She had let everybody down.
"(Y/n), listen to me. You haven't done anything wrong, alright? This- this just happens sometimes. Now I need to take you to hospital." Eddie kissed her temple when she bowed her head and shuddered.
They couldn't stay cooped up in the bathroom and judging by the blood (Y/n) had lost, this hadn't been a swift process. Eddie had no choice, he had to take her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. She could get an infection, she was probably dehydrated after this and she could have any number of complications from something so traumatic as this. He couldn't help her here at home.
Reaching up for her hands, he carefully looped her arms around his neck and moved his hands to her waist as he pushed onto his feet rather than his knees. But when he tried to hoist (Y/n) up with him, she scrambled to grab the side of the bath.
"No!" She used the bath as leverage and sank back down to the floor with a thud that made her cry out and coil in on herself again. While Eddie dropped back down into a crouching position and reached out for her hips.
"Amor, baby I have to get you to a doctor-" Eddie paused when (Y/n) took him by surprise and pushed forward into him. "What's wrong?"
He murmured softly into her hair as he pressed his lips against the top of her head and curved his arms around her. He cradled the back of her neck while his other arm looped around her waist to hold her tighter. He let her burrow into his chest, overwhelmed with relief that she was huddling into him instead of pushing him away.
He could feel (Y/n)'s hands digging into his upper back as she clutched him like she thought he was about to vanish or walk away from her. As if he would do that. Her face pressed into his chest enough that each breath she took fanned against Eddie's shirt and made his chest dampen. He started to glide his hand up and down her back, waiting patiently for her to tell him what was wrong.
"I can't." Her voice was meek and defeated as she spoke into Eddie's chest, not daring to look up at him.
"Why not, baby?"
"I f-failed… I don't- I don't deserve any help."
Eddie wasn't sure if someone could physically die of heartache, but he knew if it was possible, then how he felt now was exactly what it would be like.
She was breaking his heart. Why would she think something like that? Had Eddie done something to make (Y/n) feel like she would fail if this happened? Had he inadvertently said or done something that panicked (Y/n) into thinking he would lash out or make her feel bad if she ever lost their baby?
Eddie would never do that. He didn't know why (Y/n) was under the impression that she had to be punished for something like this or why she thought she had done something wrong. But she hadn't. Eddie would never let anyone make her feel that way. What happened today was just a horrid experience that occurred to them for no apparent reason.
(Y/n) didn't need to be punished for this and it didn't mean she deserved this pain or didn't deserve to be treated and helped at hospital.
"(Y/n), baby, listen to me. You've just had a miscarriage, you deserve help more than anyone and you haven't done anything wrong here, okay? Now please, please let me look after you and take you to hospital."
He wasn't waiting for a reply, and he wasn't going to argue this any longer. Eddie looped her arms back around his neck and picked her up without giving her any room to argue. He had to get her dressed and take her to a doctor, it was non-negotiable.
He hadn't been there for her when this happened, but he was going to make sure he looked after her now.
***
"Get off."
"Baby please-"
"I wanna go home!" The shrill tone to (Y/n)'s voice made Eddie shake but he acted faster when she tried to climb off the bed.
His arms bound around her middle and he held her into his chest, pushing her down onto the bed so she couldn't try and scramble out of the room. She was going to hurt herself. He wasn't stupid, he had seen the blood coating her thighs again, she was starting to haemorrhage. (Y/n) could think again if she thought Eddie was letting her go home in this state.
His lips attached to her shoulder and he felt her hands trembling between them as she tried to break out of his arms.
The nurse couldn't even get an IV in the back of her hand, (Y/n) was fighting them on every aspect.
But when Eddie felt her hands shifting between them, his brows pulled into a frown and he pulled back. He reached down quickly when he realised her arms were pinned into her waist and she was pressing and scratching her hands into her stomach. She was going to hurt herself.
"Don't do that-"
A flurry of words escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she pressed her temple down into Eddie's shoulder and let out a scream that Eddie was sure ended in "-lost our baby!"
When he looked up at the nurse with tears drenching his face, his shoulders sagged and he curled himself more around (Y/n) when he saw what she was getting ready.
They were going to sedate her. Maybe it would be for her own good, if they sedated her she could rest while they checked her over.
"Oh baby,"
Tilting his head to one side, Eddie rolled his lips together as he leaned over and reached his hand down for (Y/n)'s hand. He stayed perched on the side of the bed next to her thigh and brushed his thumb up and down the back of her right hand.
He ran his free hand down his chin and along his jaw while he watched (Y/n)'s eyes flutter open. He had been waiting a while for her to wake up. No one had wanted to sedate (Y/n), but it had been the only choice if they were going to look after her and stop her haemorrhage getting any worse.
The look in her eyes showed she was groggy, rightfully so, and it took her a few seconds to look round and realise where they were and what was going on.
But the moment her hands tore away from him and moved down to her stomach, Eddie visibly flinched and moved to hold her thigh instead. He hated the tears that welled up in her eyes and how she tilted her head back as she began to silently let the tears fall.
"I- I hoped it was a nightmare." Her voice was hollow and her tone was broken which in turn broke the little piece of Eddie's soul he was trying to hold together.
"How you feeling, amor?"
"Like a failure."
(Y/n) adverted her eyes down to her stomach when she heard Eddie click his tongue. He probably thought the same. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth to stop herself from bursting into tears and shuffled down while she tried to bring her knees up to her stomach.
But she stopped when Eddie moved. She thought he was getting off the bed, that he was going to walk out the room and leave her like this. And he had every right after what she had done. (Y/n) gasped when Eddie shuffled round and nudged her up so he could squeeze onto the edge of the bed with her.
His arm looped over her waist and his lips attached to the side of her head, causing more floodwaves to burst down her face. (Y/n) wanted to turn the other way so she wouldn't have to see the anger or sympathy circling in his eyes, but Eddie's strong arm over her waist stopped her from moving away from him.
"Me too."
His words confused her and (Y/n) gingerly tilted her head back to look up at him, but Eddie had already closed his eyes and attached his lips to her head.
"What?"
"I failed at everything." He murmured into her hair while his hand started to stroke up and down her hip. "I tried saving my team in the army, didn't do any good, all of them are dead now. I thought I did okay with Shannon, but she left me before she died. You're the only good thing in my life, and I couldn't even take care of you when you needed me. I screw up everything I do."
Eddie couldn't open his eyes. He knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to see his wife, all he would do was burst into tears and see every mistake he's made in his life.
He tried. God, how Eddie tried. He got everyone out of that mess in their helicopter crash. He carried them, he shielded them, he took bullets for them and Eddie came home with most of them. The ones who didn't die out there. And what did it achieve? Eddie was the last man standing, the only one who hadn't fired a bullet into his brain or drove his car into a lorry.
He hadn't done right by Shannon all the time. He went back for another tour in the army when she needed him. But he tried when he came home. He put his broken pieces back into the odd shape of a man and tried to be a husband and father, until she left. And he tried even harder when she came back, but nothing Eddie did was good enough, and if Shannon hadn't died she would of left him anyway.
(Y/n) was the shining light in Eddie's world of darkness. She had been the one good thing he had other than Chris and he strived to do right by them. He strove to be a good husband, the best he could be, a better partner than her abusive monster of an ex.
And when (Y/n) needed him the most, Eddie turned up late, after everything had already happened and she went through a traumatic loss without him. He didn't help anyone, Eddie failed all of them.
"That's different." (Y/n) shifted her hands from her empty stomach to cradle Eddie's arm that was draped over her chest.
"Why?"
"You didn't kill them or lose them, you didn't fail,"
"And neither did you." If Eddie wasn't at fault then neither was (Y/n). He didn't want her thinking she had done something wrong when she couldn't help what she had been through.
(Y/n) could feel her lower lip wobbling and she pulled on Eddie's arm, pulling it down from her chest until it was pinned across her stomach that felt hollow. She felt like she had a piece missing and she didn't know how to put the rest of her pieces back together to make up for that loss.
She felt Eddie shudder against her and he couldn't seem to breathe when his fingers skimmed across her stomach before he moved to grip her waist instead.
"I'm not a good wife, I c- I couldn't even have our baby." She twisted to the side and burrowed her face into Eddie's chest while his arm looped tighter around her waist and his hand pressed down against her back.
"Please don't say that. If I didn't fail, neither did you, this wasn't your fault. We're gonna be okay."
His lips attached to the top of her head when he felt (Y/n)'s arm wind around his torso and felt her shuffle even closer into his chest until they were practically merged into one.
Eddie didn't want her thinking like that. She hadn't done anything wrong, but he didn't know how to show or convince her otherwise.
He would just have to shower her with love and show her that they would get through this.
#imagine#911 imagine#eddie diaz x reader#pregnant! reader#eddie x reader#eddie diaz family#eddie diaz imagine#eddie diaz#bobby nash
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Art by @iamespecter
CHAPTER TEN
Caine and Pomni grow closer while making the next day's race! Caine can't deny his feelings, but Pomni is unsure! The other racers make their own mischief without a track to keep them busy!
WARNING: none!
~~~
Gangle hummed to herself cheerfully as she redesigned the paint sceme and patterns on her kart. She was feeling rosey pink today, so that's what her kart would be for tomorrow. She drew her custom designs on the control panel tablet and they appeared on her kart in real time. "Hmmm....I wonder how many white flowers I could fit..." She was so focused, she didn't notice Gummigoo standing beside her.
"Gangle-"
"EEP!" Gangle's mask went askew but she held it before it moved out of place further. "Oh, hi!"
"Uh, hey...can I talk to you?" Gummigoo looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot.
"Sure!" Gangle put down the stylus and gave him her full attention.
Gummigoo rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the scarred indents of Bubble's teeth marks. "I...I think something happened to me last night."
"A lot happened to everyone last night." Gangle giggled.
Gummigoo forced a small smile. "Yeah, look, I think something bad happened. I went to my room, blacked out and woke up standing in Pomni's room. She seemed rather freaked out by me being there."
"Oh my! I'm sorry, I didn't see you go in there. I was... preoccupied." Gangle glanced at Zooble, a light blush dusting her mask. "Have you tried talking to her today?"
"Yeah, but she brushed me off... wouldn't even look at me." His shoulders drooped. "I consider Pomni a friend, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I had hurt her in some way...what do I do?"
Gangle put her hand on his shoulder. "Give her space for now. She'll come around when she's ready."
"What if she never is?" He couldn't handle the thought of Pomni never talking to him again.
"How about I ask her on your behalf? Maybe she'll talk to me about it. Girl to girl."
"I'd really appreciate that. You're a true friend, Gangle." Gummigoo smiled for real this time.
"Awwww, shucks. I try." Gangle waved him away bashfully. "Anyway, try not to worry too much. Pomni wanted you here in the first place. I don't think she'd change her mind overnight."
Gummigoo took a deep breath. "I'll have to take your word on that for now, but thank-"
"LOOK OUT!" Ragatha cried out.
Gummigoo turned around in time for a pb&j sandwich to smack him in the face. It slid down his stunned form, falling to the ground with a wet splat.
Jax was laughing his ass off. "I wasn't aiming for you, but I'll take it."
"What's the big idea!?" Gummigoo wiped off the smear of jelly and peanut butter over his eyes.
"I'm bored." Jax picked up a cup of yogurt from the dining table. "That's why." He chucks it at Ragatha, who ducked. The yogurt smacked the back of Kinger's head, who silently turned his head curiously. "Man, my aim is off today." Jax picked up a a mixed berry pie and aimed for Zooble, who had their back to him.
Before Jax could launch the pie, Zooble spoke. "Throw anything at me, and it'll be the last thing your arm ever does."
Jax changed the trajectory last second and threw the pie at Loo, who was hiding behind the furniture with Ragatha.
Gummigoo rushed to the packed table. The bubble chef hovered overhead, amused by the racers playing with the food. Gummigoo got a whole bowl of mashed potatoes, and dunked it on Jax's head.
"AH-MMMPHTH-!!" Jax was blinded and stumbled over a bean chair.
"Fooooood fiiiiiight!" Gangle cheered.
Everyone except Zooble scrambled for the table. They grabbed random handfuls of food and pelted Jax mercilessly. "I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!!" Jax warcried.
Zooble sat cross legged in a recliner, thumbing through a magazine. Not a spec of flying food touched them.
~
Caine and Pomni laughed hard together, out of bounds. Pomni has to brace against a colorful mushroom tree and wipe tears away as Caine held his ribs and kicked his feet mid air.
"So- so- okay-" Caine tries to talk through bouts of laughter. "So I said; why would the kart need more speed sets? It's already got three! Here, there, and GONE!"
"Oh my god..." Pomni continued to laugh. "I can't believe Kinger of all people would ask for that."
"Oh, believe it! He's more mellowed out these days, but Kinger was a real speed demon early on. Held the champion title for a record number of seasons." Caine took a steading breath, the occasional giggle escaping him.
"Could you add more speed of you wanted to?"
"Oh, definitely. The only limit is the game engine, but if I made everyone go top speed at all times, that would make the boosts and items pretty boring. Got to keep a pinch of chance mixed in with the strategy required to win a race. Keeps things interesting."
"Fair point." Pomni could finally breath normally again. She went to remove her hat to run her hand through her hair, but it didn't budge. She forgot she couldn't remove it. "Hey, um... what all can you do in the game? Are you really all-powerful?"
Caine was a bit taken aback and looked away as he cleared his voice. "I wouldn't say-....yes, I am. As the administrative AI, everything in the game is mine to do with as I please. The only exceptions are the racers. While I could certainly move you around if I wanted to, I can't control the way you act or feel or anything like that."
"Can you affect our clothes?" She tugged at her hat.
Caine looked her over, an embarrassed blush lightly displayed on the sides of his face. "...technically, yes." He wasn't sure were this was going.
"Then can you PLEASE let me take off this hat? It's a bit obtrusive."
"OH! Oh, yes, of course. Avatar changes are tricky, especially since- Nevermind, but I can help you with this." He put his hands on the sides of her hat.
Pomni leaned against the mushroom tree behind her, watching Caine curiously.
Caine focused and lifted the hat slowly. Binary code that made up Pomni's form was exposed. He ran his hand over the top of her head and the code morphed and changed color. Dark brown hair flowed from her scalp and glided between his fingers as he made it grow. The hair length stopped just below the base of her head all the way around. He smiled as he felt her soft hair slip through his fingers, his hand lingering just a bit longer than necessary near her cheek.
Pomni's eyes dilated watching Caine's expressions subtly change as he focused. Her head tingled as the hair grew. Caine's fingers brushing her cheek made her breath catch in her throat. Her digital heartbeat felt like it was trying to escape her chest.
Their eyes met, so close to one another. Caine's gaze drifted down to Pomni's lips.
"Thank you..." Pomni said quietly.
"You're welcome." Caine tried hard not to stare, but Pomni wetted her lips nervously and he shuddered.
"Hey, boss!" Bubble popped in.
Caine launched himself away from Pomni, hovering stiffly. Pomni froze in place against the mushroom tree asset.
"What!?" Caine said a bit too loud. His blush was dark red. Pomni's hat clutched tightly in one of his hands.
"The racers are destroying the garage." Bubble said with a smile.
"Good for them." Caine said, staring determinately in a random direction away from Bubble or Pomni. "Without a race, I'm sure they need something to do."
"You don't want to watch?" Bubble asked, mildly confused.
"Nope. Too busy. Lots of work left to be done on this new track if it's going to be used tomorrow."
"Okay, boss. I'm going to watch the violence." Bubble giggled giddily and popped.
Caine and Pomni both immediately relaxed when Bubble left. Pomni stepped away from the mushroom tree and looked over what she and Caine built. "You're right, there is still a lot to do. We got distracted there for a bit."
"Yeah, we did." He couldn't stop thinking about how close he had been to her. Thoughts of what could've happened if Bubble hadn't come in made his code buzz excitedly. He shook them from his mind and rejoined Pomni on the ground. "While there are still quite a few decorative assets to complete, the track itself is about finished. I'm going to sprinkle in a few jumps and maybe a tunnel for extra flavor."
"Ooh, how about a tunnel made of water?" Pomni smiled.
"I like the way you think." Caine smiled back and tossed her hat onto the same asset his coat was hanging from.
~
An entire plate of food crashed against the wall behind Kinger. He had barely managed to avoid it, moving his body back in a limbo bend. He was out of ammo and grabbed two cushions to throw back instead.
Everyone and everything in the garage was covered in food. The bubble chef kept making more appear on the table as the racers ran around upturned furniture.
Loo shielded Ragatha from an incoming jello mound. Green apple flavored gelatin went everywhere. Loo licked the jello off her lips. "Mmm, at least the food is good."
Ragatha playfully glared at Gangle, who had thrown the jello. "Take that!" She grabbed a handful of random mashed food on the wall and threw it back.
Gangle was hit square in the face, falling backwards. Her mask slipped, shattering on the floor. The sound of the breaking porcelain made everyone stop. Zooble slapped her magazine shut.
Ragatha nearly slipped on mashed food trying to get to Gangle. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?"
Gangle lightly sniffed, gingerly picking up the pieces of her comedy mask. "Been... awhile since...this happened. I knew I should have...secured it better today." Her voice lulled slowly with a heavy rasp.
Zooble scooped up the pieces easily, then helped Gangle to her feet. They stood between Gangle and the others, not letting them see her tragic face. "Come on, there's extra glue in my room." They leave together to go upstairs
"Way to go, Ragatha. Now the mood is ruined." Jax complained.
"I didn't mean to hit her in the face! I really am sorry!" Ragatha called up after Gangle as the door to Zooble's room shut.
Loo placed a comforting hand on Ragatha. "I'm sure she knows it was an accident."
Ragatha didn't say anything as she brushed food off her dress.
Gummigoo shook mush off his tail, looking around. "Crikey, I think we got carried away." A bit of food fell from the ceiling and splattered on his snoot. He groaned.
"Without a race to reset the garage, we'll need Caine if we want this cleaned up." Kinger commented as he wiped undistinguishable food off his robe. He looked mournfully at the messed up cushions, no pillow forts could be made with messy cushions.
"Hey, chef?" Ragatha addressed the bubble in the room. "Would you mind asking Caine to pop over real quick and help us out?"
"No can do." The bubble shook in reply. "He's busy working on tomorrow's track with Pomni."
"They left?" Regatha looked out the window with it's blinds open.
"You didn't see them leave? You should pay attention more." Kinger said poignantly.
Ragatha didn't comment. She turned back to the bubble chef. "Come on, he can do it in less than a second. It wouldn't take much of his time."
"Nuh-uh." Bubble said with an even wider grin. "He's so focused he even has Pomni against a tree for comparison."
Ragatha blinked and looked to the others, everyone shrugged.
"...and taking off her clothing assets." Bubble announced.
Ragatha clapped her hands over her mouth. Everyone else struggles to pretend they didn't just hear that.
Jax picked up a plate and threw it like a frisbee it at the chef. The unhelpful bubble pops and the plate smashes against the wall. "Useless assistants."
~
Caine finished rendering a new spiral launch and took a breather. "That's the last of the track. This is going to be spectacular, Pomni! Thanks especially to you."
Pomni waved off his praise. "Oh, come on, all I've done is talk. You're the one doing all the work."
"My dear, creative brainstorming is a big part of what I do! The fact that you came up with most of this on your own, I'm impressed. What inspired you?"
Pomni looked around at the dark light colors and soft lighting. "I think I just like pretty things that shine in the dark."
"How poetic." Caine smirked.
Pomni smiled bashfully. "Maybe this is what I liked on the outside..."
Caine watched her carefully. "...how much do you remember?"
"Not a lot. I remember snippets and I dream, but nothing solid. Like, I can't remember where I'm from...where I grew up....if I had a family..."
"I'm sorry." Caine said quietly. "If the exit wasn't the way it is, I'd let you go back in a snap, but for what it's worth...I'm glad you're here."
Pomni wiped away a tear that tried to sneak out. "It's not all bad. The others are fun to be around, and you've... made me feel pretty welcome."
"It's what I do." He took off his hat and bowed dramatically. "Caine, Race Host Extraordinaire, at your service."
Pomni giggled. Before she could speak further, a large asset started blinking some distance behind Caine. Pomni saw it shudder and glitch, her eyes widened.
Caine got up from his bow and saw Pomni staring into the distance. "Something wrong?" He goes to turn around but Pomni grabs his wrist.
"No! Nothing! Sorry! I just, uh- had an idea! Yeah! We haven't made insects for this track yet. Kinger would be disappointed if we forgot." She quickly glanced behind Caine, the asset was normal again.
"Gadzooks, you're right! What an oversight! I know just the thing for a track like this, but I'll need your help." He slid his wrist out of her grasp to hold her hand.
"What could I do? I can't create things out of thin air."
"Not alone you can't, but with a little bit of administrative access..." He snapped his fingers and his hand holding hers glowed a dim gold.
Pomni's palm felt warm and tingly. Her gloved hand buzzed and pixelated a little before going back to normal.
"...if you can conceive it, you can achieve it. Now, visualize in your mind what you want to appear."
Pomni closed her eyes to focus. She thought hard on picturing a moth. It's what was on the top of her head. Suddenly something fluttered in between her hand and Caine's. She gasped and pulled away from him. A black light green and blue moth flew free, coming to rest on the trunk of the mushroom tree. She looked at her hand. "Oh my god..."
"Neat, right? Now, imagine... having that power with absolutely everything! The world is yours to command at a single snap." Caine snapped his fingers and every asset they worked on that day levitated for a second before going back down. "Go on, give it a try."
Pomni looked for the smallest asset. A pebble. She thought to herself: jump! She snapped. The pebble jumped several inches off the ground. "WOAH!"
"You learn quickly." Caine beamed. "This access will allow you to help me more in the future. However, it will only work out of bounds. Can't have you snapping things around active tracks all willy-nilly."
"Aw, and here I wanted to snap Jax into the nearest dumpster."
Caine chuckled. "As tempting as that is some days, it's important to show restraint. Yet another lesson I've learned the hard way." His eyes became distant for a moment, then he cleared his voice. "Anyway, would you like to keep making more?"
"I would." She held out her hand to him.
Caine gladly accepted it. "My power is yours. Show me what that beautiful mind can create."
Pomni could not get used to Caine complimenting her, as nice as it felt, the fluster made it hard to focus. All she could think of were "colorful night bugs". She snapped. A flurry of multicolor moths and fireflies and beetles flew from her hand out on to the new track.
Caine watched her with soft eyes. The way she looked in the colorful low light was truly something to behold. He ran his thumb subtly over her knuckles, wanting nothing more than to pull her in and kiss her breathless. For now, at least, she seemed very happy with her gift. There was real joy in her smile. That was enough for him.
~
It was late before Pomni and Caine popped back into the garage, right outside her room door. All was quiet, the other racers already settled in their rooms for the night. Pomni had her hat tucked under an arm, still wanting to enjoy her head's new found freedom. "Thanks for spending time with me, today. I had fun." She gave him a genuine smile.
Caine's code skipped a beat. He placed a light kiss to the top of her hand. "Trust me when I say, it's been my absolute pleasure. I should have you around out of bounds more often. Who knows what kind of trouble we could get into." He winks.
Pomni internally screams from romantic panic. Her face felt as hot as the sun. "That- that- would be nice! We could make a date of it! ...again." This time, nothing felt like just a nice gesture. This time, it felt meaningful. That maybe pursuing a romantic relationship with a gaming AI wasn't that crazy after all.
Caine could explode into butterflies and confetti. She wanted to make it another date! "Just let me know when. Give your fingers a snap, and I'll be right there." He held both her hands in his. "I'm so happy, Pomni. I'm so very happy to have you around. You're not just another racer, you're special to me."
Pomni didn't know what to say. She was happy too, but at the same time, this was still a crazy situation to find herself in. Part of her wanted to launch herself into Caine's embrace and never let go, the other wanted to run. She awkwardly swung her arms with his. "I... you're becoming something special to me too. I still have... reservations. I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear, I just...need to go slow." She looked down and away.
Caine gently squeezes her hands. "My dear, we can take this as slow as we need to. We can save the high speed pursuits for the track. Rest well, I look forward to tomorrow."
"Me too." Pomni gave him one last smile as she shut her room door.
Caine hovered near the ceiling, looking down at the travesty that was the garage. "Racers." He chuckles and snaps. The place instantly became spotless and tidy. He teleported away.
~
Pomni immediately checked her room for Abel. Relieved to find herself alone, she flopped on her bed and screamed confused emotions into her pillow. "What am I doing!? I can't actually be falling for him?? I want to leave but he's so- so- AAAAH!! Is he really interested or is it an act?? Abel said-... And why ME of all people!? I'm not- HE- uuuuuuuuugh..." She relaxed face down on the bed, eventually drifting off to sleep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
A blue digital countdown flashed before Pomni's eyes. It scared her. She tried to run from it. The numbers got bigger, the blue glow getting brighter behind her. More lights ahead. Two high beam gold headlights. The roar of an engine. Tires screeching. She tries to run to the side, but feels sluggish, her running stride slowing no matter how fast she tries to go.
Both sets of lights get closer to her. A panicked heart beat booms in her ear. The red door with the C&A logo appears between the lights. She throws herself through it as the lights collide.
Beyond the door was an office, but not the same as she's seen before. It looked like a home office. More modern. Papers and files stacked everywhere. Photos of faceless people pinned to a corkboard. Red string connected them. The C&A logo centered on the board with multiple red circles drawn over it.
The flat screen monitors came to life with red letters. P W P I. Again and again. "Pomni..." A feminine disembodied voice called out. "Pomni..." It came from a wall that was entirely made of mirror.
Pomni stared into it, not seeing herself, but the woman in the brown jacket. The strange woman put her hand against the mirror. Pomni felt inclined to do the same. When their hands touched, the mirror cracked violently. The reflection became fragments of visions that meant nothing to Pomni.
The mirror wall fell apart, revealing a black abyss beyond. One large green and orange eye opens, staring directly at Pomni. She couldn't move. Her body defied any instinct to run. The eye rushes her.
Pomni jolts awake with a shout, falling off her bed. "Ow..." She holds her aching head. She didn't feel like going back to bed. None of her dreams have made it worth it. She opened her door to find sunlight peeking in through the blinds on the main floor. It was morning already.
Pomni tiredly requested coffee from the bubble chef. She was the first up, having the lounge to herself. It was the first bit of peace and quiet she actually had in a while. Her mind was exhausted. Swinging wildly from one emotion to another, and dreaming about...whatever the heck all that was, had her drained. Her peace was broken by Zooble and Gangle being the next ones down.
"Good morning!" Gangle cheerfully greeted as she sat next to Pomni. Zooble sat next to Gangle with an arm over the back of the couch.
Pomni internally cringed at Gangle's tone this early in the morning, but kept a neutral face. "Morning..." She sipped her coffee.
"Are you feeling better after spending time with Caine? You were a bit out of sorts yesterday."
Pomni slowly blinked, trying to remember what Gangle was referring to. "Oh...yeah, I am. We had fun."
"That's great! Because Gummigoo seemed pretty upset that you wouldn't talk to him."
"I didn't want to talk to anyone." Pomni said defensively.
"I know, but he was REALLY worried that he had done something wrong."
Pomni focused on her coffee. "He didn't. Just...wrong place, wrong time."
Gangle looked to Zooble in a silent plea. Zooble shrugged. Gangle nervously tapped her ribbon hands together. "Maybe you should talk to him? Tell him things are okay? He cares about how you feel about him."
Pomni stared at her reflection in the black bean water. "I'll talk to him." She'd have to at some point. Abel would be back any time.
~
Pomni caught Gummigoo the moment he left his room. "Hey, can we talk?"
"Sure thing." Gummigoo felt an icepick of fear in his code but went with her anyway. He needed to know what he'd done.
They sat together in the stands, away from prying ears in the garage. Another perfect digital day made the quiet environment easy to enjoy. Gummigoo nervously held his hands together, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees to keep them from shaking.
Pomni sat back with her arms crossed. "Nothing happened the other night. You walked in. We talked a bit. You came around. I helped you find your way out. That was it."
"...that doesn't explain how scared you looked. You acted like I was about to literally bite your head off. Then you wouldn't even look at me the next day. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you." Gummigoo said quietly but firmly.
Pomni took a moment to answer. "The conversation got heated. You're kind of scary when you're angry. I'm glad you came to when you did." The memory of Abel's cold fury directed to Caine made her head hurt.
"What did I say? I really don't remember...I'm sorry." Gummigoo sulked.
"Don't worry about it. People do weird things under the influence. I still consider you a friend."
"Really?"
"Mmhm."
Gummigoo sat up straight. "That's a relief. I would've been devo if I couldn't muck about on the track with you anymore." He smirked.
Pomni smiled back. "Things would've gotten boring so fast."
~
Caine appeared right on time in full race host uniform. Fairy lights sparkle, falling around him. "Hello, my fabulous fantastical friends! I have a very special treat for you all today! A brand new track designed from the very mind of our own Pomni!"
"Oh, this oughta be good." Jax huffed.
"It's more than that! It's excellent!" Caine excitedly flew over to Pomni and held out his cane to her.
She looked at it with confusion. "Uh...what-"
"This is your track, Pomni. You should be the one to introduce it to the other racers." Caine motioned for her to take his cane.
"Ooo! How exciting!" Ragatha clapped. "Go on, Pomni. You can tell us about what you made."
Pomni slowly took the cane, trying not to look at all the eyes on her. "Uh..." Microphone feedback from the cane's topper made an ear splitting ring echo through the garage. She held the cane out at arms length. "Sorry."
"Already off to a great start." Jax muttered sarcastically.
"Um, the track today is..." She just realized they never agreed on a name. She had to come up with one on the spot. She spied the sparkling lights Caine had made part of his entrance and rolled with it. "Uh...the Fairylight Forrest."
As if on cue, Caine snapped and the race track title appeared in shiny, colorful letters overhead. They had way too much pizzazz for Pomni's lackluster announcement.
Everyone but Jax politely clapped. Pomni wanted to fall through the floor. She tried giving Caine his cane back.
"Not yet! They need to see it! Come on everyone! Lead the way, Pomni!"
The embarrassment was going to kill her.
Caine opened the door for her and the racers. The outside was gorgeous. A dark Forrest bathed in pale moonlight surrounded the startling line. The track disappeared into the iridescent woodland, small lights lining the sides. Bioluminescent mushrooms as tall as the trees gave off blacklight glow. Moths and fireflies flitted about.
The racers all gave whispered gasps and comments of astonishment. This was one of the most serene tracks any of them had even seen. Ragatha nudged Pomni with her elbow. "Good job, this is way more mellow than anything Caine's every made."
Pomni smirked mischievously. "You haven't seen the track yet." She raised her voice confidently, seeing how genuinely impressed everyone was. "Welcome to the Fairlyight Forest! Don't be fooled by it's appearance! It's as dangerous as it is beautiful!"
Caine lounged back in the air with his arms crossed, a proud smile on his face.
Pomni raised the cane to her lips. "This track is packed with harrowing hairpin turns, sickening spirals and mind-blowing multi-tiered jumps!"
Caine was falling in love all over again.
"Be amazed! Be astounded! But don't be caught unaware! For a great beast roams these woods, and it's hunger for racers is never saited! Can you make it to the final lap in one piece? Let's find out. Racers! To your karts!" A roaring applause came from the themed stands behind her. She jerked her head around to the crowd, like she had forgotten it existed. NPCs where on their feet, going wild for the announcement. The others excitedly ran to their karts as Pomni held the cane close to her chest. She was rather surprised with herself.
"You're amazing." Caine said from behind her.
Pomni smiled bashfully and held out the cane to him. "I learn from the best."
He took it, going out of his way to make sure his fingers brush hers. "Have fun out there, my fairy queen."
"Always." Pomni smiled all the way out to her kart, jumping in.
Caine twirled his cane. "Racers! Start! Your! Engines!!"
Bubble appeared with translucent fairy wings on their back and stuck out their tongue to start the countdown.
First light...
Pomni couldn't take her eye off Caine. He was looking at her so longingly that her heart skipped a beat.
Second light...
She winked at him, reving her engine.
Third light...
She could swear Caine fainted.
GREEN!!
She takes off with the group into the forest.
~
Blue static crackled along the bounds of the game, moving with purpose. Every asset touched by it blinked and glitched subtly. The static came to the portion of the forest where the antagonistic beast lied dormant, awaiting the racers to trigger it's pursuit. The static leapt into the eyes of the beast. It's cold silver eyes turned bright blue.
~~~
CH 1 PREV NEXT
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc fanfiction#tadc caine#tadc pomni#tadc showtime#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadc kinger#tadc gummigoo#caine x pomni#gangle x zooble#ragatha x loolilalu#Abel#showtime shipping#showtime ship#showtime
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PAC: What Upgrades are Coming Into Your Life?
Hello beautiful people, so sorry for the delay on readings. I've been really distracted lol. But tonight marked the end of the $5 4/20 weekend sale. I am grateful for those who have purchased a reading. Now, if you would like to purchase a reading, please read my guidelines and let me know! (They will be regularly priced until another sale comes along). Now, this weekend’s PAC will be all about the upgrades that are coming in your life! Whether that’s in your career, home, family, finances, love, etc. We’ll find together! So without further ado, please pick your Megan baby. 🤭
Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):
PIle One, I feel like things have been getting hectic in your life. I think that this is a group of people who can get easily distracted by the small things. A lot of you are going through a breakup/separation from someone that betrayed you or love bombed you. I can feel my throat tightening as I’m typing this. I’m sorry, Pile One but this is a blessing in disguise. I think that this will be a death/rebirth period for you. I am seeing snippets of the Hiss video, specifically when Megan is dressed in all silver. I think you will come out stronger than ever. When I say stronger, I mean you will be less tolerant with other people’s bullshit and having better boundaries. I feel like someone tried to dominate you and as a result, it ruined your self-esteem. I see you taking some time to yourself and realizing who the fuck you are. You need to know that things will get better. Anything that happens over the course of the next seven days is meant to happen, Pile One.
Cards Used: The Empress (RX), Prince of Cups, 7 of Swords, Strength, The Hermit, 3 of Swords (RX), The Magician, Temperance (RX), The Lovers (RX).
extras: “bovine”. playing the dozens. hbcu bound. 1H lilith. a full shopping cart. laughter.
Pile Two: If you suffer from insomnia, you will absolutely start to get better sleep. Pile Two, you’re such a smart worker. I know you don’t like to work hard, and you will be getting a reward for that. I see a promotion coming your way. If you have a boss that has an explosive temper, I see that this will happen within the next three weeks. Your life also seems chaotic like Pile Two. You also seem like the obsessive type. I feel like this is a pile full of nightowls as well. Part of your upgrade process will mean embracing your shadow side. I think that you have some trouble with other women (if you’re a woman), or having trouble embracing your soft side. It is okay to be vulnerable. I also see if you’re on the search for a new car, then a woman will co-sign a loan for you. It seems like you will be changing from the inside out. The longer it takes for you to address the issues that you have going on internally, the longer the results will come. I am seeing that when you finally decide to open up and be vulnerable, the physical changes will manifest. For example, if you want longer hair, your hair will grow two inches. If you want to change your life, change your mind Pile Two. And I’d recommend you look up the term ‘limerence’. Start making changes to become more grounded and less clouded by delusions, fantasies and looping thoughts about stuff that does not exist in your reality. It’s time to let them go, Pile Two.
Cards Used: 4 of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Chariot, Ace of Discs, 3 of Discs, The Devil, King of Cups (RX), The Tower, 9 of Swords
extras: listening to nightcore. “egoic”. meat market. fresh beat band. beauty shop (2005). picker-upper.
Pile Three: Your hard work is finally going to pay off. You’ve been obsessing over your work and dedicating so much of your time to it. It is finally going to receive some recognition because you decided to not give up on your dreams. As a result, I see that your dream lifestyle will be well-funded. If you’re an artist or a clothing designer, this will especially resonate with you. The amount of time that you spent on your passion will be appreciated by many eyes, Pile Three. If you’ve been having a hard time accepting someone for who they are, or if you have been struggling with your emotions in general, I see that you will get a handle on it. And also, if you’re looking for a vendor, you will find one! You are being called to continue to focus on your craft. I am channeling this interview of GloRilla where she says that she abstained from relations with men, partying and alcohol for sixty days before she blew up. Then FNF was released, and that marked the start of her mainstream journey. So, keep going baby!!
Cards Used: Wheel of Fortune, Strength (RX), 5 of Cups, Queen of Cups, 7 of Cups, Princess of Discs, The Devil, 3 of Discs, Temperance, The Star
extras: christina aguilera. spiders. a series of unfortunate events. award shows.
Pile Four: The only way that you can learn from your mistakes is if you actually implement the lesson into your life, Pile Four. I can tell that you’re stubborn. Once you really understand that nothing can change if YOU don’t move things around, you will know how powerful you are. Some of you may have a really thick (and attractive) accent. I think that you can use this to your advantage to make things shake for you. Pile Four, do you really know yourself? Like outside of the things that you do and have, who are you? It is time for you to do some soul searching, my love. It feels like I am talking to a shell of you. I think that the upgrades that are coming in will involve other people. You will find someone who helps you embrace your rawest, natural self. I also think that you will be interested in fitness and will find a workout partner. Investing in yourself physically will impact you emotionally. You do not need to go back to your old self because they’re gone. Take pride in this new you. I feel that your spirituality will strengthen as well. Your boundaries will grow stronger, and as this happens, you will lose more friends unfortunately. But I don’t think you’ll be affected by it. Overall, I feel like this pile will gain a lot of clarity and mental strength to start breaking generational curses and shedding old skin. You got this, Pile Four!
Cards Used: 8 of Cups, The Star, Death, 9 of Swords, 7 of Wands, The Fool, Temperance, Page of Wands, The Lovers
extras: “you smell good.” “be you.” jump by tyla. maison margiela. kick-ass. wwe.
#law of assumption#manifesting#neville goddard#tarot#tarotreading#hoodoo#astro notes#pick a card#pick a pile#divination#black tarot readers#tarot pull#tarot community#tarot tumblr#free tarot#daily tarot#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot witch#kpop tarot#pick a reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#pac reading#tarot pac#spirituality
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Okay yeah so you’re gonna take i365 up heading north north south, and when you see the 18D exit take that and turn left for a u turn onto brambleton. Once there take it 26 miles due right and then veer into the bike lane and take that on up to north Hampton, and there you’ll find a traffic circle perfectly implemented into the 16 lane highway designed by engineers from DC who based it off of a Parisian death trap, so circle about four times and take the third exit on the left up to the stop sign. Back up, kiss bumper behind you, then speed off heading east bound and down— try and get up to a good 75 kph and double back so you can kiss the rear bumper of the same car from before, killing a goose in the process, and then just three more miles on gravel and you’ll see the ikea. So this single dirt lane you’re in is going to end without warning and if you don’t turn out you’ll be disincorporated, so once you’re in the left most lane hang right and you’ll be able to access the ikea parking lot. Go past it. There’s a casino about 14 miles down that has parking as far as the eye can see, park near the west wing and then take the tram back to ikea and I’ll be standing by the parking garage entrance with the lamp we agreed to trade on Facebook marketplace P TOWN buy nothing group. You’ll know it’s me because I’ll be lactating and holding the lamp, which by the way, is now cracked because i threw it at my pitbull, and it has several cigarette burns on it because it looked at me funny and I put my smokes out on it to teach it a lesson it won’t soon forget. Don’t forget the cash. We agreed $1.37 and if you don’t have exact change i will detonate the device.
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After a few months of off and on again work, @cuips-not-cute 's Cyclical is now bound!!! 489 pages, 21 signatures, and about 1.25 inches thick!
And you should read their fic here!!
{Breakdown under cut!} - Contains Spoilers!
Uhh where to start with this. My first attempt at: a more standard book size (fun), a full cloth book (no problem here), full page illustrations (okay results), and chisel trimming (uh oh!).
(Suffice to say I need more practice with that last one, the foredge could have been worse, but it coulda been better - a little wonky but we'll just say it's got character).
I think what I'm most proud of is the color cordination of it all (and the end papers, oh my what a fitting find).
Materials: Made with Cialux bookcloth in night blue and Spanish MM marbled paper for the endpapers. The cover graphics are yellow Siser HTV, a black HTV, and Cricut metallic gold HTV (not near as shiny as one might like). Bound using linen thread and archival pva glue, endbands sewn using single strand embroidery thread in a double core style. Printed on Hammermill 20lb cream paper.
Cover: Cuips mentions Slaughterhouse Five at the start of the fic with a quote, so I used that as a bit of a jumping point for the cover design. Specifically this edition. Only instead changing the red for the blues of the upside down and a somewhat orange-ish yellow (both colors of which we see a lot in the fic). The skull and crossbones is similarly swapped with the hourglass on its pedstal in the UD woods with a flower and petals around it. The back cover showcases a sheep dog's wolf collar hehe. My biggest grief with this cover is that for some reason, one of the HTVs leaked glue when pressed. It doesn't look bad, just adds an odd shinyness but thankfully isn't sticky. Weird!
Title Page: A negative space hourglass with UD vines outlining the shape (perhaps a XII hidden in there too...). In the middle is a repeatedly circled sphere with sand pouring out and the title flipped to be reflected below.
Other tidbits that I think are neat:
All timeloops in the fic end with things dissolving into sand, so I tried to add a little falling sand graphic at those sentences.
The chapter end notes are titled "notes for past self" and the next chapters summary and beginning notes are "notes for future self" because it felt like it fit the timeloop theme
"say it out loud, it'll be okay" (with the Steve and Robin sheepdog and cat) and "enter sandman" have my favorite chapter title illustrations (oh man the feelings I have for the cassette tape..)
the book notes page has the same vine graphic as the title page but this time with flowers on it!
Overall I'm really pleased with how this bind turned out! It was a lot of fun and a bit of a journey to make!
+Bonus timelapse of sewing some of the signatures 'cause I find it fun to watch:
#the book has been recieved!! so it's time to post!#stranger things#my posts#fanbinding#ficbinding#bookbinding#cyclical#cuips-not-cute#steddie#this beast weighs about 1lb 10oz or so it has such a nice heft to it!
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Sorry if this has been asked. I tried to search but couldn't find it.
How do the RO's deal with jealousy. I notice that Cam, G and Ardent all are quite high (I mean Cam and Ardent are in a different legion). How do they deal when they see MC being hit on or someone just doing a flirty joking thing.
Can't wait for the release ٩(◕‿◕。)۶
I can't recall if it has or not. (I'm going to have to pick a designated day to sort out a masterlist) Answer below! (Me too, so excited okay more nervous than excited. I'm editing a wee bit of code that was broken from first round of beta. Not too much of a hassle!) ❤️ Cam - He should be used to being jealous of people making eyes at MC or when MC was dating, etc. But to Cam it was just ya know him being protective of his friend. That's all it was, so simple, so innocent. Until he came to terms with his feelings, which in turn kind of flipped a switch in his head and made it all make sense. His face reacts before his thoughts can sometimes, so he would be scowling, angry. Stumping around and pouting, Cam would try to diffuse the situation as quick as possible, if someone is flirting with MC, looks like Cam just remembered they've totally seen this person before. He will then put himself between MC and this person, "Hey weren't you here last time with your partner?" (he will think of so many ways for this person to leave mc alone. maybe even make a list for what works the fastest)
💙 G - I'm absolutely not jealous. Out of all the emotions I feel that is so far from any of them. (such a liar)
G denies, because they shouldn't be jealous, why do they care? Caring about MC about who they're interested in or whose interested in them shouldn't matter. Is the person a friend of MC's? That shouldn't matter, it shouldn't but damn it if it doesn't. G has more bite, they snap a bit, or they turn complete ice cold. As if MC doesn't exist, but they're paying far too much attention for that to be the case. Because realizing they're jealous hurts them, disgusts them.
💚 Kara - There are moments when Kara can and has gotten jealous when in regards to MC. Some of those moments was when MC and Chris were together. Was she jealous because MC was spending time with her older sibling who she considers a close friend? Or was it more? Whose to say (I can't!). When not in a relationship she doesn't believe she has a right to be jealous when it comes to MC, so she does get conflicted when it happens, however seldom. She likes attention, if she's getting it from MC good if not...well maybe she just needs to do something to change that. She tries to brush it off, lets it settle. Because clearly that jealousy is fleeting right?
💛 M - So M is a tricky one, they are close to very few people so if and when MC becomes one of those and they see that someone is trying to take that time with MC away from them, they get kinda jealous. They'll blush, brush it off. Then their tongue will slip and they will say something catty. Apologize profusely. M doesn't know how to handle those emotions, they haven't had experience with it so it's a learning time for them.
💜 Isaac - It would take a lot for Isaac to get jealous. Would have to be in deep crush/early relationship stage for it to really start. It would scare them, but they would hide that from MC. Isaac knows pain, so if they get jealous then they worry that can lead to other feelings other fears. They'll try to ignore it, because if MC and Isaac are together, they have to trust its for a reason. It's not just a thrill of a moment. So they deal with jealousy with patience, or try to.
🖤 Ardent - Ooooh goodness. Ardent doesn't deal with it. Nope, even crushing stage. He's not dealing with that. He would be brash, to the point. Tell the person to back the fuck off, and if he sees them again well, that's going to be a problem. When Ardent cares for someone, he does it with every fiber of his being. So seeing someone trying to overstep their bounds especially if that person is making MC uncomfortable. That would get his temper quicker than anything. Ardent would be clingy, so clingy so annoying. Like hold his hand, better yet let him wrap you in his arms because this guy is sulking.
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before anyone asks me
I said this in my other socials but yes, I'm still keeping my Strawberry Shortcake Cookie oc. (Though will be referring to her as OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie for now on while talking about the OC herself) MORE INFO IN THE KEEP READING!!
I created OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie around when I was in middle school (back when I was started out cookie run) and since then she became a main staple for my identity her design was a lot different compared to now and I developed her character since then, I couldn't exactly really change her nor I'll abandon her outright just bc of an existing character of the same name was released recently
Instead of abandoning her, I decided to let these two co-exist at the same time because, at the end of the day their similarities are just their names and nothing else Remember:
OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie I'm referring to a 19 year old lovable idiot photographer who's in a relationship with her childhood friend who's the fuckass consul, and is currently in college (uses she/her btw)
CANON Strawberry Shortcake Cookie is a puppy cakehound who the witch turn into a cookie in hopes of finding their lost owner (afaik, the pupper uses they/them and is also a puppy so..) PLEASE DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWO!!
-- with a vast world like Cookie Run, there's bound to have cookies sharing the same name BUT aren't the same ones like we know (like there could be a Cherry Blossom Cookie that's entirely different from the Cherry Blossom Cookie we knew, they literally just share the same name) It's really upsetting for me to see Cookie Run OC Creators outright abandoning their character they love and put a lot of work into just because of a mere "canon" version of their oc the stories and potential just gone to waste, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel that way. Your OC is your OC!! and you can do anything you want with them (as long as it's not.. y'know- weird) can't have a simple name/ingredient be getting out of your way of creating!! after all:
I'll be making a separate post about a little trend/movement I had posted in both my twitter and instagram to basically having to draw cookies with the same ingredient as the canon ones shown in the game~! the main purpose of the trend is to encourage oc creators to keep their ocs and to show that it's okay (if they already change their name, I think you can still participate in it since their origins still there!!) here's an example
I wanted to spread positivity out of this common problem within the oc creator side of the Cookie Run community and I hope you'll be encourage too, thank you all for reading this far into the post
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run fanart#cookie run kingdom fanart#cookie run oc#oc!strawberry shortcake cookie#cookie run kakao#strawberry shortcake cookie#cake hound cookie#princkle's art#there's no such thing as 1#there's always a second one!! bahahaha!!#(kill me-)#also oc!ssc adopts strawberry shortcake cookie as her pet hehe
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Okay it's after 1am and I've had a lot of wine so obviously it's time for a late night wall-of-text post, but this time it's less likely to piss off your weird uncle or whatever because once again, I gotta talk about the best $4.99 a month I've ever spent.
Please, if you haven't yet, I'm begging you to look into all of the incredible content available on the Dropout.tv streaming service (formerly known as College Humor) . Not only did Whose Line Is It Anyway's Wayne Brady say that the Dropout crew are the only ones doing improv comedy on the same level as Whose Line, but they were also one of the only studios/streaming services allowed to work during the writers' strike because their contracts went above and beyond industry standards. (And, from my own observations, Dropout LOVES hiring queer, trans/nonbinary, and BIPOC performers + crew. Obviously I don't know much about the industry, but they seem like one of the most inclusive companies in Hollywood.)
"Alex, thanks for the recommendation! What shows do they have that you think I'll like?" Oh, you're asking me to gush about my favorite tv shows? Don't mind if I do!!!
Are you D&D curious, but took one look at actual play shows like Critical Role and thought "6 hours an episode? and there's like 750 episodes or whatever? oh baby not my adhd ass..." Don't worry, me too (sorry CR I love you I promise). But Dropout has a show called "Dimension 20" where comedians play Dungeons and Dragons with emotional, immersive storytelling, gut-busting laughs, and spectacular set design that makes you forget it's a fully improvised series controlled by the roll of the dice. They even did a miniseries perfect for D&D beginners called "Dungeons and Drag Queens" where absolute novices and Drag Race royalty Jujubee, Monet X Change, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Bob the Drag Queen embark on an adventure full of mystery, intrigue, and stupidity. I mean, Alaska plays a muscle-bound, axe-wielding, caveman-grunting Orc named Princess, what more could you want? Plus, the primary game master Brennan Lee Mulligan is so easy on the eyes. Oh, you're not into dorky ginger dudes? How about Aabria Iyengar, a 6 foot tall goddess who's equally as nerdy as Brennan but loves basketball. that's right, if nothing else, there's eye candy for every person in every season.
"Oh, why aren't there any good game shows on TV?" you wonder, wishing that the Game Show Network could come up with something that isn't a lame remake of a free-to-play phone game. Well how about Game Changer, "the only game show where the game changes every show (except for [...] Game of Games, Taskmaster, and a few others that have come to light AFTER [Game Changer first aired]. That's right, [the] players have no idea what game it is they're about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning." And yes, I did sit there and watch the beginning of an episode to make sure I was accurately quoting Game Changer host (and Dropout CEO) Sam Reich's description of his flaghship game show that has THREE separate spin-offs. (for context, he only mentions the other shows that copied his in the one episode I pulled up to get an accurate quote. could you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if he said that every episode? hah!)
Are you more of a traditional Whose Line fan? Look no further than Game Changer spin-off Make Some Noise, where contestants act out "improvisational prompts that [they have] never seen before, isn't that right contestants?" ("We won't know if we've seen them before or not until we see them!" Brennan insists every time he's on...)
You like musicals but wish they were less... ya know, scripted? Check out "Play It By Ear", a fully improvised musical! (you may be familiar with its primary cast members Jess McKenna and Zach Reino from the podcast that inspired it all, "Off Book: the Improvised Musical Podcast with Zach and Jess")
Or maybe you're more into trivia, cuz you're a total nerd like me (and every single performer that's ever appeared on dropout.tv). How about "Umm, Actually" where contestants are given an incorrect statement and have to buzz in to correct it - but you have to say "Umm, Actually" first!
Straight up, you can't go wrong on Dropout. Please, check it out. They're nearly doubling the amount of original shows they have in 2024, and no other streaming service is doing it like them. If I haven't convinced you yet, get the 7 day trial and give em a chance. There's no referral code I can give you that gives me some sort of kickback or whatever, I genuinely wrote what looks like a thousand word essay about Dropout at 1am just because I love them so much.
youtube
#dropout.tv#umm actually#dimension 20#make some noise#game changer#brennan lee mulligan#aabria iyengar#for a late night wine-fueled rant on a broken keyboard i think this went well#actually i feel so guilty about my CR dig because i loved Exandria Calamity so much so please dont yell at me#also google said quiddie is exactly 6 feet i hope i did her justice
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I've heard some people lauding the NATO phonetic alphabet, and am just sort of scratching my head about that.
Like, here were the criteria for words in the alphabet:
Be a live word in each of the three working languages.
Be easily pronounced and recognized by airmen of all languages.
Have good radio transmission and readability characteristics.
Have a similar spelling in at least English, French, and Spanish, and the initial letter must be the letter the word identifies.
Be free from any association with objectionable meanings.
But then you look at what they actually picked and it's like ... okay, you picked a bunch of names? You picked "Whiskey"? On the assumption that what, this is a drink that's common everywhere in the world? That everyone is fine having an alcoholic drink as one of the words? Nowadays I can pull up a global map of whiskey consumption, but that's not something they could do in the 50s, and I would guess that they were not considering e.g. Muslim pilots. (Some places do actually change out "Whiskey" for this reason, along with other regional variants, which are exactly the sort of thing you want in a standard everyone is supposed to be on the same page about.)
And alright, whatever, I think the list is kind of confusingly culturally bound given what the criteria were, but it served its purpose well enough ...
Except that as standards do, it began to be used in other places, including by civilians, and including by civilians when both parties have not agreed on the NATO phonetic alphabet. It would be great if we all had an agreed upon phonetic alphabet that everyone knew, but the fact that some people don't know it makes it a lot worse, particularly if you're on a customer service call, and particularly if you're on a customer service call with someone who is not a native English speaker and who was not raised in the same cultural context that the NATO phonetic alphabet assumes.
If you, like me, love terrible quality PDFs, then some helpful soul made a FOIA request for "The Evolution and Rationale of ICAO Spelling Alphabet", and you can read it. This is a fun read for me, because it's not just concerned with the phonetic alphabet, but the history of it, and in one case they're just like "welp, we have been completely unsuccessful in locating this file". And I'm sitting here in 2024 reading a ratty PDF of a file from 1959, thinking "yup, that's how it is sometimes, they do all that work making a report and then no one fucking preserves it".
(Most of the document is about whether they would use the US-UK version or the ICAO version, and then some modifications and why they were made, and this is all interesting, but I'm kind of still scratching my head about some of these, especially given what they say the criteria were. "An international alphabet designed to fit the multilingual requirements of all nations"? Maybe they really thought that's what they were doing in the 1950s.)
Anyway, this isn't to say that I think we need a new, better phonetic alphabet, just that I think the current one is not actually the pinnacle of standards that some people seem to think it is, and in fact, it contains a lot of baggage from the time and place it was made. Further, it's being used in places well outside the environment it was made for, and unless everyone is trained in it (and maybe even if they are) some of the deficiencies get magnified.
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Captive Prince--short stories binding
My next completed project! This was something I had bound already, but it wasn't very pretty (it was one of my earliest bindings) and there were changes I wanted to make. So I present to you: my binding of @fahye's excellent Captive Prince short story collection!
This was a different kind of cover than I've previously done. This just has bookcloth over the spine, and then for the front cover I used cardstock with a toner-reactive foil to make the crown and laurel. Previously I've only been doing the bookcloth covers, both because it's a lot easier to make and because it's easier to design in some ways as well. But this one just came together like this, and I already had this deep blue paper, and it was just too good to pass up.
I wanted the picture on it to capture the feeling of the pictures used in the published editions of Captive Prince, but I also wanted to put my own spin on it. So it's a fancy crown with an olive branch inside of it, made to look like an old-timey etching.
More pics and rambling under the cut.
The title page, with the same design from the front (just smaller).
The endpapers, which are very pretty but also very thin. They were kind of a pain to work with and they went down pretty wrinkled-y but they're really pretty and you can't see it in the pictures but they are also very shiny and have ribbons of gold and silver ink running through them.
The title page. Avid readers might notice that I didn't include all of the short stories here, and added a few extra, and, well, I can do that because it's my binding! I wanted to have my favorite stories along with Run All the Lights and Dilation because those are also pretty short and I love those stories too.
On my bookshelf. One day it will be sitting next to the Polish editions which I WILL own before I die, I swear to god. I do kind of wish it was more obvious that this wasn't a rebinding of the original Captive Prince, which is kind of what it looks like from the cover, but it's just so fucking classy I couldn't bear to change anything about it.
Doing it the way I did--with the cloth binding and the paper cover--definitely meant a lot more measuring, and very precise measuring at that, which I'm never good at, but I think it turned out okay and everything looks mostly straight. And I'm getting better at making the textblock and the case and had less problems there than I normally do, which is awesome.
The gold on the bookcloth is my nemesis HTV. It went down about as well as it always does, which is to say not well (although, to be fair, the front cover was fine. It was the spine that gave me issues). At least there wasn't much of it this time, or anything too fiddly. The toner reactive foil, the stuff used on the crown/olive illustration--that stuff is awesome. I just printed it using my regular printer and then put the foil on and sent it through the laminator a few times. I don't think it would have been possible to get that effect with HTV, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.
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Just finished Skyward Sword! And I finished A Link Between Worlds a few days ago.
So, double post time! I'll start with ALBW because I had a few days to sit on that one.
Also just realized that with the completion of Skyward Sword, I have officially played and completed every 3D Zelda game! YIPPEEE!
(Long post below the cut!! Along with major spoilers for both aforementioned games!)
Ravio is SO SILLY. Though, he's already talked about a lot. Anything I could say about him has probably already been said.
But hey, I can't help but really like this silly guy who stole my house and all my rupees, okay? He's a little rascal.
So instead, I love Hilda having a clear motivation behind her actions. She is just trying to restore her kingdom. She wants her people to thrive. But she turned to the triforce instead of trying to find better meds to maybe help her people. Though the place was literally breaking apart, so maybe there really wasn't anything else that would've worked.
The story of this game is really heavy in the last 30 minutes, and that's really it. Before that it's just dungeons. Oh, and helping Ravio retire. I absolutely LOVED that XD
So, the distribution of the story could've been done better. But really, this game is so underrated for a Zelda game. Also, the whole moving through walls thing is super fun. LOVED that mechanic. Altogether, great game.
Okay, on to Skyward Sword!
SO good. This game does NOT deserve all of the negativity the surrounded it for some reason. Sure, I used button controls (I couldn't figure out motion controls for the life of me pff) but STILL! I think the Switch version definitely made it easier on me. Though idk what the Wii version is like so I shouldn't be trying to compare them lol.
On to non-gameplay stuff, the dungeons were so cleverly designed. As someone who is not particularly smart, I never found myself super stuck in the dungeons. Instead, I had a lot of fun with them! That's always a plus with me, but I don't find too much shame in looking up a walkthrough here or there.
Story! So fun! I loved Groose's character arc especially. I totally despised him at first but he reached silly status pretty quickly. His character was handled really well, too. He didn't just flip personalities. He showed his flip through his actions, not his words. Which for Groose is a perfect choice.
Also, Ghirahim is SUCH a theatre kid. Nothing can change my mind on that. (And before anyone gets mad, I'M a theatre kid. I know what we act like.)
I find it interesting that the whole game only takes place in three regions that you visit over and over again. Other Zelda games have done this before, but I think Skyward Sword does it the most. I loved all the regions, but tbh I think the forest was the most boring to me. The Ancient Cistern was cool though. I won't deny that. Also, Eldin was probably the most traumatizing for Sky. SO many bad things happened there lol. Like being burned because of how hot it is, then finding chains Zelda has definitely been bound in, being told he was too late. Then he comes back later and not much traumatizing stuff that time. Maybe getting chased by lava, probably not lasting trauma, just scary for a minute lol. But when he comes back a final time, the volcano erupts, covering the sky in ash and leaving him with no return to the sky. To make matters worse, he gets beaten up and captured by monsters and all his stuff was stolen. Wow I just wrote a lot about Eldin pfff
Sadly, I already knew about the whole Zelda is Hylia thing. I kinda wish I hadn't known that. That cutscene probably would've been cooler if I played this game in the complete dark.
Also, Link is so subtly expressive in this game. He actually has facial expressions! I love how at the end of the game, you can SEE Link's determination. You can see his desire to cut Demise down and save his world. I LOVE his expressiveness!
One thing I didn't know was that Demise was the Imprisoned. That actually surprised me.
Then there's Impa. I already figured out that the Old Lady was Impa before the reveal. So that was just "I called it." But here's the silly part about that cutscene: I read fanfic saying she died once. But of course I let my guard down. I believed that the author had Impa die from Ghirahim hitting her. And so, literally one text box away from the scene, I sent my sister in law a text like "lol, idk why I thought Impa dies. She's literally been here the whole time."
I had to send a text probably two seconds late saying "nvm, she died."
Whoopsies, silly me XD
Last thing I wanna say! (I think.) The whole lightning in the end battle is SICK! And now all the lighting scars people give Sky make sense. That's probably one of my favorite scar headcanons, honestly. That and Wild's blast scar. Also love giving Twilight a nasty arm scar, but I'm getting off track.
So yeah! Those are my silly disjointed thoughts on both the games I finished recently! Now I only have 2D games left to play. My list became so much smaller! It went from having ten games to just five.
Just have the Oracles games, Link's Awakening, the original and Adventure of Link to play! (I'm debating which one to start with. Probably the Oracles games to I can get Legend's character down better.)
Yay! Wall of text!
#legend of zelda#the legend of zelda#tloz#loz#link#zelda#the legend of zelda Skyward Sword#skyward sword#tloz ss#tloz skyward sword#tloz sksw#tloz albw#tloz a link between worlds#a link between worlds#albw#loz albw#albw ravio
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OK SO HEADCANNON TIME
Maul was re-alived by the Son. Just like Ahsoka was re-alived by the Daughter.
So we know this for Ahsoka because it's done right in front of you and we have the bird and all that jazz. "In plain light," so to speak.
BUT what happened to the Son at the fall of Mortis? Well if you look at it carefully they're immortal beings that aren't exactly bound by space and time. So the Son being pretty damn powerful but probably not as much as the Father. He decides to live on in a dark sider. So... Who's desperate enough, emo enough, and stupid enough to accept the literal embodiment of evil?
Our boy Maul.
It explains a lot about him. It gives a pretty neat Watsonian explanation for his change in voice, it explains why Sidious literally never thinks of him again and is kinda surprised that Maul's alive, and it even explains his weird behavior in Rebels (again a Watsonian explaination). His voice changes because it's literally the Son's voice. Sidious genuinely thinks he died because, well... He did. And his seemingly erratic behavior and split motivations would fit pretty neatly with two different souls fighting for dominance in one body. It even gives a little insight into how Maul was able to "see" more than the average force user even more so than just having the context of his abuser taking over the galaxy.
But we don't see this right? Well... In line with the "light/dark" dichotomy that star wars loves. The reveal of Maul's possession isn't as straight forward or "hidden in the dark." (Yeah it's simple but *sighs* Star Wars) But we DO see it. We see it with the repetition of "the chains are the easy part. It's what goes on in here is hard," by the Son on Mortis as he talks to Ahsoka and by Mauk when he see him on Lotho Minor. We also hear it in his voice. These choices made by the animators were not mistakes in this sense.
We also can see how this plays out in Maul's general inability to draw from the light side even while not being a Sith just like Ahsoka has a general inability to draw from the dark side even while not being a Jedi. For the both of them, they're more or less fixed in their alignments. It explains how no matter how hard Maul tries to do the ultimately right thing by seeking to destroy Sidious, he's never going to experience the connection that comes from being in the light. It's just like no matter how much she despairs that she'll fall to the dark side, Ahsoka never really does (okay I gotta say Warsonian a third time cos I will lose my shit if I say what I really think).
So what does this mean for the narrative? For those two specifically, I think they're a little less in line with the idea "you can choose to be good or bad" and little more "wouldn't it be fucked up if you were possessed by the literal embodiment of evil/good and didn't even HAVE a choice no matter how hard you tried?" And you get some deep thing about free will and moralizing about how great it is. Cos if there's anything Star Wars loves to do it's moralize about things!
So that's just my take on them and I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks this, bit I'd love to hear from your frens. Take care!
-♥️-
granmaul
I love this, and I'm going to throw in a devil's advocate "Doylist" thought for the hell of it: Witwer voices both the Son and Maul and has a really good grasp on the lore. I think we can feel his influence in both characters' acting, and those similarities may be deliberate choices in their design so those echoes become apparent when looking closely at the execution:
The Son of Dathomir and the Son of Mortis.
I'm particularly fond of your headcanon because I think there are mirrors between the architects (the Celestials, assuming the Mortis Gods were part of that ancient race -- I like to think so but unconfirmed in canon afaik) and the fruits of their efforts, no matter how far they've fallen from the tree.
Thoughts, frens?
Darth Maul is alive truthers, speak up or forever hold your peace.
#dat ask#darth maul#the son#mortis gods#celestials#possession#darth maul headcanons#maul#maul headcanons
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If you haven't already could you write a pt2 for jacob holland x mermaid! Reader IT WAS SOO CUTEEEE I rlly enjoyed it. :3
p.s. please take care of yourself and take breaks 👍
🗡️🗡️���️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️
The next two weeks passed through without any major disturbances from the ocean. The carpeting business he had created the year before was slowly reaching an all time high. The demand for boats was coming in full force as the fishing season was coming in in less than a month and so far, the boats Jacob was able to make easily was the dinghy.
However, this particular order was taking far much longer than he originally thought when he made the outline for it. But, it was a boat where it was asking for a lot of designs and Jacob had to hire a couple more hands to help him with the project.
Although, the project wasn't what was on his mind, a certain fish tail was making him more occupied.
For years he knew that the creatures of the sea were both dangerous and mysterious, but from his previous experience with the red Bluster anything is bound to happen at this point.
Jacob pressed on with his life, Maisie was enjoying her time in school practically leaving their home to go and come back home to tell him all about what she learned that day. He returned to his contented life, finally understanding that he would probably never see that mermaid again.
The shed that he had built after his house was finished, held most of the wood he owned and perhaps where he spent most of his time working on his projects.
With some nails in his lip, Jacob hammered the curved wood on the right hand side of the unfinished dinghy he was working on and then wiped his brow. It was day two of his project, and a wet one. It had rained the day before, putting his schedule back a couple of days because the wood he used was also wet.
Sighing, Jacob pushes away another completely soaked piece of wood into the mounting pile of its predecessors and picks up another to feel the weight of it and inspect any large wet spots on the wood.
"Da! Da!" he turned his head to look at Maisie approaching him with a large grin on her face. He sets down his hammer and piece of wood to catch the girl in a hug and grins.
"Hey there kid, how was school?"
"Good!" she exclaims as he sets her down. Digging into her school pack, she pulls out a large book and thrusts it into his face.
"Look! They changed the story about Red!" she says excitedly. Jacob flips open the red spiral book and sees the progression of their story, scarily it was very accurate to what happened. Pretty sure Maisie had something to do with that. A proud father he was.
"Oh and there's someone here to ask you about making a boat for them." she tells him and Jacob frowns in confusion then looks up to see someone approaching.
As the sun sets in the distance, the rays were bouncing off the skin of the woman approaching them. He wipes his hands on the rag he keeps on his hip and squints a bit to see something shimmering on the woman's neck and arms.
Thinking nothing of it, Jacob's eyes widens as he realizes who was approaching and couldn't form any sentences in his mind to speak.
"Hello, you're Jacob Holland right?" Her voice was sultry and soft.
"Um, yeah, I mean yes! Yes, I am Jacob Holland." he holds out his hand to shake her hand and she smiles in greeting.
"I'm Y/n, I was wondering if you could build a jolly boat? I'm a...I help clean the ocean with a very private organization and one of our boats was lost to the sea because of...the rain we had yesterday." she brokenly explained.
"I understand. How soon do you need it done?" he asks, taking the pencil and notepad that Maisie had handed him.
"Well, preferably in two weeks if possible." she says, Jacob nods.
"I can do that. Any color or designs you wish to add?"
"No, it can be however you want it to look." she reassures him and he nods again as he is writing down the possible wood he would need to purchase and add up the total.
"Okay, if there's nothing else that you may need then it will be seven gold pieces for the materials and the time it would take to do the project." Jacob explains.
Y/n pulls out a small pouch from her hip and hands him the correct amount then adds four more pieces to him.
"Just in case," she says to him with a smile.
Shaking hands again, Y/n waves to Maisie and departs from their home sneaking a quick look over her shoulder to Jacob again before turning her head and continuing on her way.
Jacob watches her go and sighs in bliss, Maisie is looking at the gold that she grabbed from her father's slacked hand. Bringing it closer to her face, she noticed something odd about the gold piece.
"Da, look at the money she gave us." she says snapping him out of his stupor.
Jacob looks close at the currency and sees a triton on the gold. The rarest of gold that can only be found in...Jacob shakes his head and puts the gold in his pocket, letting Maisie have the one in her hand for a treat.
"Let's get some dinner then, eh?"
"Yes! I want to show you the high marks I got on my test this week too!" Maisie says as she grabs his large hand and the father-daughter duo return to their home.
With Blue
The little blue creature pushed his head into the open palm for more pets by Y/n as she crouched on the beach to give him some love.
"We'll meet again Mr. Holland, much sooner than you think." her gills flutter softly along with her scales shimmering.
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